CAPITAL LETTERS AND FELT TIP
by chips2
Summary: Declan Brady comes to hollyoaks to visit his father while his mother is away on holiday for two weeks.  Will the visit build or burn bridges between father and son as deeply held secrets are revealed?
1. DAD IS GAY!

THIS SUCKED.

When me ma told me that I was staying with dad for a couple of weeks so that she could go to Spain with Martin, I was pissed off. She totally ruined my summer holiday.

Freddie was one of my best friends. His parents were like seriously rich. He invited a bunch of us from school for a week to his parent's holiday villa in _Corca Dhuibhne_, Kerry. That's its Irish name. You might know it as the Dingle Peninsula if you know it at all. His home was a mansion right next to the beach but it still had a massive swimming pool shaped like a big bean with a diving platform at one end. Sweet. Plus his parents weren't going to be there for three days so Siobhan was going to nick some vodka from her parent's house and if she couldn't then we were still sorted because my other best friend Aiden has a fake id. Anyway, the swimming pool, the alcohol, my friends and not having parents around weren't going to be the best bit of my holiday.

Aoife was.

She was my girlfriend, I guess. We had been in the school drama club together for a year even though I was in _dara bliain, _while she was in_ tríú bliain._ That's the second and third years in plain English. We spoke properly for the first time, out of a drama club, three months ago which was why she said we had been dating that long. I knew we had been going out for only four weeks because that was when she told her best mate Siobhan and a few of her friends that I was her boyfriend in the canteen at lunch time in school, while holding my hand. Then she kissed me, like full on, with tongues and smiled at me. It felt brilliant. I wished Aiden had been there that day instead of skiving off. He would have been well jealous because he thought she liked him. Hah!

Anyway, now I wouldn't get a chance to hang out with her and maybe Aiden was going to try it on because I wouldn't be around.

It would seriously suck if she fell for his moves. I would be gutted.

And all because me ma wanted me to,

'Get to know your father, Dec. It has been a long time since ye had a proper heart to heart. He misses you and it will be nice to bond as father and son, yeah?'

Um. No. Not really, ma.

Don't get me wrong. I loved me pa. He was a right laugh and pretty cool. But-

Number one- Sometimes, even though obviously I loved dad, I felt like I didn't really know him; like properly. There were so many questions that I wanted to ask him to get to know him better but knew I couldn't. Questions like why he left ma, why didn't she speak to uncle Macca anymore, why did he argue with ma every time he came to visit when they thought me and Paraic were asleep.

I confronted them once. Never again. Dad got freakishly quiet and ma said, _'This is between your dad and me, Dec. When, if ever, your father is ready he can explain everything to you.'_ Dad looked like he was going to puke when she said that. _'There is nothing to explain.' _I remember him saying.

Number two- Is related to number one. If dad decided to be all secretive and become quiet and distant I didn't have any friends where he lived to keep me company and Paraic wouldn't be there because the little weasel got an ear infection which meant he couldn't fly and was staying with ma's parents. I think it was a convenient ear infection because grandma took us shopping and then told us not to tell ma because she didn't want us to get spoiled. She bought me the new Nintendo 3DS.

LOVE HER.

I tried to fake that I was getting an ear infection too. It didn't work. Mum figured I was lying.

That sucked majorly.

So that was why I was with her in a small village called Hollyoaks, walking through heavy metal doors that had _Chez Chez_ written on them in big pink letters. It was a nightclub that belonged to my auntie Cheryl. She was dad's sister.

My dad's name was Brendan Brady by the way. I didn't say that, did I?

"Cool place." I said when I clocked the bar area and the inside of the club.

The second he saw me his face lit up like a kid. He pointed at me, "You come here."

And then he hugged me like he was going to squeeze me to death. It made me think that maybe he missed me a lot. And maybe I missed him quiet a lot because right then I felt like it would be nice if I saw him more often and it was cool to get a hug off my dad.

"It's so good to see you. Ey, we are going to have the best two weeks. You hear me?"

For the first time since ma destroyed my holiday plans, I felt really happy. I nodded quickly. I was smiling like a right eejit.

He turned to ma and said, "Thanks for this."

"Don't let me live to regret it." She said with that scowl on her face that I had seen her use on him in the past.

And again dad looked like he was actually going to be physically sick. His face dropped and he broke eye contact with ma.

I was itching to ask why she would regret leaving me with my own father but I didn't want dad going into silent mode already so I filed that question for later like all the other questions I have had for dad over the last two years.

I said bye to mum and she left. It was sad and everything but at the same time I was getting really excited about what the next two weeks had in store for me.

We were having a catch up, pa, auntie Chez and me until we heard the door to the club open. I looked over to see this guy walk in. Young but definitely older than me. Thin like me and probably my height.

When dad saw him, he squeezed my shoulder a little harder than necessary. It nearly hurt.

"Stephen." He said and then looked at auntie as if asking her a question with his eyes.

"Hiya." This Stephen guy said and when dad wouldn't look at him, he turned to auntie and said, "Right. I've decided that I am going to take up your offer of taking some time off."

The tight squeeze from dad's hand on my shoulder was back and my Auntie's voice was tight when she said, "Oh okay."

"Yeah. I'm just going to take the kids away for a couple of weeks."

He had kids? Maybe I got it wrong but this Stephen looked like some of the older kids at school, like the school leavers. He couldn't be old enough to have KIDS?

PLURAL?

IN CAPITAL LETTERS (That's what Aoife did when she wanted to emphasise something.

For example, a note she gave me in drama club that read,

_DEAR Deccy,_

_Meet me outside the gym later,_

_LOVE XXX,_

_Aoife._

"Great. That sounds like a great idea doesn't it, Brendan?" Auntie said.

"Yeah. Go with your mates. See you later."Dad said.

Wow. That Stephen bloke looked at dad like he wanted him dead, like with proper dagger eyes.

"Yeah, you too." Stephen said then practically ran out of the club as if he couldn't stand another minute in the place.

WEIRD...

Who is this Stephen? Clearly not a friend. Auntie looked almost revealed when he left, like we had avoided a major catastrophe or something. Dad looked... oh, I don't know. He was always so hard to read. Which was strange because Aoife thought I was a bit 'mysterious' also.

'_I can't read you sometimes, Deccy.'_ she said.

Is it like inherited or something being secretive and mysterious? That would suck.

Anyway back to the story.

My dad looked stressed and harassed suddenly. He ran out of the club too. I wasn't an eejit. I knew he was running after that bloke. The question was why?

"Who is he?" I asked auntie.

"Who, love?"

"That guy. Just now. The one dad is running after." Like duh.

"Oh, Stephen? Brendan wasn't running. No. He, um-" She cleared her throat, looking everywhere but at me. "He works here... with me... as a bartender. He is staff. Nice guy."

"Has dad pissed him off or something?" I asked stating the obvious.

"What?" She laughed.

NERVOUS LAUGH.

I was brilliant at detecting people's REAL emotions. She couldn't fool me. "Don't be silly. I think your dad, um, he needs to give Stephen his money for this month, you know, before he goes. A holiday is no good without money, is it?"

"No. I guess not."

Right. That was another question for dad to file in the 'later' cupboard.

'.'/

The questions in that already full 'what I need to ask my dad later' cupboard piled up over the next two days.

Why was my normally bubbly aunt acting like someone was about to jump out of the bushes and scare her all the time? Why did I keep catching my dad staring blankly at nothing while holding a forgotten mug of tea or whiskey in his hand? Why did their conversations stop or obviously change when I entered the room?

THEY WERE ACTING WEIRD!

Still I was having an okay time.

Number one- I was killing it on my new Nintendo 3DS. I beat Aiden's score on the new Zelda game but I was still nowhere near Freddie's score. He said it was because he had fast fingers.

Number two- It was cool hanging out with dad. He found it funny that I was veggie but that was because he basically didn't get that a) meat was murder b) it tasted horrible, like really and c) some animals that people ate, like pigs, were as intelligent as some of our own domestic pets.

HOW MESSED UP WAS THAT?

I was having a good time and then dad started it. An argument. With me.

I was playing a computer game and then dad started to bust my balls by tugging the Nintendo out of my hands,

"I haven't seen you in ages and you have your nose stuck in this thing?"

"Not my fault you left."

Yep. I went there. I said it because I knew it would make him feel guilty.

"Yeah... it is not that simple." Dad said. "What happened between me and your mum, there are certain things you don't understand."

"I understand loads."

"Yeah?"

"I know you cheated on her." I figured that much about ma and pa. I was fourteen now for crissakes and the rumours were there. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. It was the bit of my dad I hated; that he hurt ma.

I thought he was going to deny it but he didn't.

"I'm sorry." He said. "You know I miss you loads and I'll always be your dad, regardless."

I tried to grab onto my anger and disappointment towards him but I couldn't. He as much as admitted that he cheated and I respected him more for doing that than lying to my face.

"And that I'll always love you, you know that." He said.

I felt like bursting from the inside. I wanted to smile loads but that would have been totally lame.

God, my dad could be such a geek, saying things like that.

"Shurrup." But I was grinning because I couldn't keep it in even if I tried.

He grinned too and said, "Guess I can't say that to my little man anymore, huh?"

I laughed because the truth was that my dad was kind of awesome.

'.'/

I woke up in the middle of the night. It was probably because I was sleeping in a different bed. I walked out of my room to get a drink and walked across the landing towards the stairs but something stopped me.

The lights were on in my dad's room, shining under the door. He was talking. At first I thought there might be someone in there with him but then I realised that he was on the phone. I tried to make out what he was saying, catching his half of the conversation. His voice was urgent. Desperate. I had never heard him sound like that; like he was broken inside.

"What do you want me to do to make it right?"... "I can't do that right now. This is not just about you and me." ... "Where are you going to go?" ... "For how long?" ... "Don't be like that. Please." ... "Look, I am sorry, okay, but this is a difficult situation." ... "You don't get it; she will take them away from me if we don't stay apart while he is here. I can't risk it." ... "This is about my kids. Can't you understand that? I can't lose them."

Who was dad speaking to? It sounded like a girlfriend or something but he never mentioned going out with someone. And why was he talking about losing Paraic and me?

"Wait! We can work this out. Let me prove it to you, I lov-"

I stepped forward to put my ear closer to the door but my foot landed on a creaky bit of wood under the landing carpet.

IT WAS A LOUD CREAK.

Oh bugger. I think dad heard me.

"Wait. Stephen. Shush a second. I think I heard someone." Dad whispered so quietly that I almost missed the name.

STEPHEN?

Stephen as in bartender Stephen? Who looked too young to have kids and was off on holiday? Stephen who appeared angry with dad at the club and by the sounds of it still was?

That STEPHEN? A BLOKE. A BLOKE THAT HAD TO BE CLOSER TO MY AGE THAN HIS.

**THAT STEPHEN? **(Sometimes Aoife uses all caps and writes in thick felt to **REALLY EMPHASISE A POINT**). For example, when she sent me this message during drama club,

Hey BABES,

Siobhan just found out that **MR GREYSON IN I.T. IS GOING TO BECOME MISS GREYSON! **Don't tell anyone else until it's official though.

**LOVE** XXX,

Aoife

"I am not making excuses." I heard my dad say through his bedroom door. "Wait a sec."

"Chez?" He said loudly towards the door. "That you?"

Shit. His footsteps were getting closer to the door so I ran full pelt towards my bedroom, diving into my bed and faking sleep as soon as I hit the mattress.

I heard his bedroom door open and then, after a beat, it closed again. I held myself completely still. Then there was total silence except for my breathing. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest.

My palpitations weren't the result of running. The jigsaw puzzle in my head was rearranging itself in my head. Some pieces were slotting into place. I closed my eyes as my brain tried to link the phone call now to the visit of Stephen at the club to what I knew about my secretive dad over the years.

"Hey little man."

I went rigid at the sound of dad's voice in the dark of my room.

He shocked me.

"I know you are awake, Dec."

I felt the dip of the mattress as he sat next to me on my bed but I didn't move. He didn't turn on the side light which was probably better if I was going to fake being asleep.

"You being a bit of a nosy parker outside my room?"

I thought about lying and saying I didn't know what he was talking about. Instead, I followed in his footsteps when he admitted to cheating on ma and said,

"Sorry. I couldn't sleep. I wanted to get some juice."

I turned to lie on my back so I could face him. I could just about make out his silhouette in the dark. He looked tense and his hands were balled into fists in his lap.

"Did you hear anything? Did you?" He whispered.

I nodded nervously. "You were speaking to that bloke Stephen."

He didn't speak straight away and then he said, "Yes."

"Why could you lose me and Paraic?" I asked, feeling a lump form up in my throat. It cut me up that there was a chance that I might not see my father again.

"Hey." He nudged me lightly when I sniffed back a tear. God, sometimes I could be such a baby. Thank goodness the light was off. "You alright?"

"Yes." I squeaked and then teared up again.

"Come here." He pulled me into a hug and whispered. "Don't worry. Nobody is losing anyone."

I buried my head in his chest like I did when I was a little kid.

"I promise, my little man." He said with steel in his voice like his word couldn't be broken.

After a while he let go and I fell back into my bed.

This is what I had figured out. This Stephen guy was an important person in dad's life. He made dad behave in a way I had never seen him behave before. It made me feel that I knew my dad better than I ever had while at the same time feeling like I did not know him at all.

"Dec?"

"Um."

"What you heard..." He hesitated, "... on the phone just now. It was nothing. Really."

"Bullshit." I said.

The puzzle was constructing itself. I was starting to understand my father.

I suddenly felt like everything was the same and yet a bit different.

"When did you start swearing?" He said.

"Right now because it is justified. I'm not an eejit, dad. I know what is going on." I said as if I had been there, done that.

"He isn't much older than me, is he?"

It wasn't an accusation. It was an observation.

He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Then he whispered. "He is old enough. Older than you think."

I frowned to myself in the dark. "Do you like..." I paused here because it was weird talking about this kind of stuff with my dad, "... love him and stuff?"

He looked down and started to study his hands as if they were fascinating.

"Do you fancy going to Florida?" He asked suddenly.

I sat up. "What's in Florida?"

How come this still felt like we were talking about his phone call with Stephen?

"Disney World." He said.

I grinned.

C.O.O.L.

"And..." He cleared his throat and I could make out his hand smoothing his moustache down. He was shaking like a leaf, a bit like I did before performing on stage.

"And?" I encouraged but I knew the answer already because I had figured it out. "Stephen's going to be there?"

He didn't draw breath for like a full minute, I swear. Then he simply replied, "Yes."

The pieces of the jigsaw slotted into place. All of them. Well nearly.

"He was pissed off with you at the club." I said.

"Yes."

"He is like your boyfriend or something and ma doesn't like you seeing him so you split up or you were supposed to go on holiday with him but then you couldn't because I came and now he is cheesed off or you are still going out but he is pissed off with you because-"

"Declan."

"Yes?"

"Do you want to go to Disney World or not?"

"Yeah sure." I said. CASUAL. I was not going to act like some preschooler about going to **DISNEY WORLD** in front of pa. The minute he was gone, though, I had a bunch of friends to IM.

"Okay." He kissed my forehead then stood up and headed for the door. "Now sleep."

"Okay. Night." I said as he closed the door.

I immediately picked up my phone and IMed Freddie, the one with the sweet pad in Kerry.

'Dude, just found out that my dad is gay and I am going to Disney World with him and his boyfriend! INSANE!'

He replied almost immediately.

'Seriously? Ur dad? I remember him. Bit of a DILF, mate. Tell him welcum to Team Gay. Wel Jel about DW!'

I replied,

'Ew, that's my dad u are talking about! U don't want Dan getting all jel, do u?'

And so on so forth. My IM marathons could go on for ages.

I wasn't like, _oh my God! This is crazy news! _

_**MY DAD IS GAY**__**! **_

But I admit that I was a bit surprised because, well, he was my dad and my brain never thought of the possibility even with clues here and there.

But the gay thing was no big deal. Freddie was gay and he had been going out with Daniel (he was in our class too) for ages (like six months). Dan was allowed to sleep over at Freddie's house but not in the same room. Those were his parent's rules. This annoyed Freddie because he said 'there is a double standard' because me and Aiden could sleep in his room.

I don't get why he was complaining. Freddie admitted to me that Dan would sneak into his room when everyone else in the house was asleep for a make out session, anyway. He kept saying that he was 'gagging for it' but Dan had put the brakes on going all the way for a bit because both their parents kept banging on about safe sex and waiting until they were older. Dan was worried that if they had sex his mum would find out and ground him. That pissed Freddie off even more.

He could be spoiled like that but they always kissed and made up so it was okay in the end.

Anyway, the point of talking about Freddie and Dan was to say the Freddie was an awesome friend and Dan could be boring sometimes.

Hang on, that wasn't my point.

My actual point was that it was cool if my dad was with Stephen. What was not cool was that he didn't just tell me and ma and Paraic. What was wrong with him? Why keep that a secret?

HE CAN BE SUCH A WEIRDO!

I found my lids going heavy and I started dreaming of Florida. Here was hoping that Disney World was good fun and that Stephen wasn't a complete prick. Mind you, if it all went tits up there was always computer games and instant messaging.


	2. THE JOURNEY

Dad and I were in a coffee shop in the terminal of Liverpool airport waiting for Stephen to arrive. It was also called John Lennon airport, after the Beatles' member. How cool was that? Anyway, I was sipping on a chocolate milkshake so thick that my cheeks were beginning to ache from the effort of sucking it up the straw. So I pulled off the lid and took a healthy gulp getting brain freeze in the process.

While clutching my head I looked over at dad. His pot of tea was untouched and probably getting cold. He was fiddling with the white cup and saucer in front of him with nervous hands. His knee had not stopped jerking since we sat down. He kept sighing heavily, tugging at his moustache and looking around.

"Dad! Stop! Just looking at you is making me twitchy!" I studied him over the lip of the huge cup in my hands. "Don't tell me you are afraid of flying."

He scowled at me. "Do I look like someone who would be scared of flying, little man?"

"No." I grinned. My father rarely seemed afraid of anything.

"Well then," He pointed at my drink. "Finish up your drink."

"Where's Stephen?" I asked and then looked at my watch. "We need to check in soon."

His knee jerking stopped. "He is coming."

"We should have picked him up."

"He was running late." Dad said. "There, uh, there is something I need to tell you about this trip."

"Um-hum?" I said after swallowing more shake.

Just then there was an announcement saying that our boarding gate was open.

"We should go now." I asked.

"Hold your horses, Dec." Dad says. "All we need to do is drop our bags off. I checked us in on-line."

I sat back in my chair impatiently and folded my hands. I wanted this trip started already. I couldn't wait! But I supposed in the mean time I could ask my dad some questions!

"So, like, what is he like? Stephen?"

Dad stared at me like a deer in head lights.

"I mean, like, where is he from? How old is he? How many kids does he have? How did you meet him? How long have you been like, you know, going out? For example."

Dads nerves seemed to kick up a notch. He picked up his teapot, poured himself a cup and downed it, WITHOUT MILK, before quickly pouring another.

"Isn't that cold by now?" I asked.

"It's fine." He said and cleared his throat.

"So how long has he been your boyfriend?" I rephrased.

Dad didn't answer. Instead he gave me a silent stare that shut me up.

I blinked first.

This was AWKWARD.

My realisation-

DAD DID NOT LIKE TALKING ABOUT HIM AND STEPHEN... AT ALL.

This was how I knew. Aiden bought me a book called, '_Saying It Without Saying It- The Ultimate Guide to Body Language!_' for my birthday last year to perfect my 'freakish talent of being able to read people like a book'. It was ironic that I was good at it because on the flip side people said that I could be pretty hard to read.

"When we get to Florida, you guys aren't going to go off and leave me alone are you?"

"Don't be daft. Why would I do that?" Dad's voice was like a quiet rumble. There was a nervous twitch in his right cheek. "And you won't be alone even if Stephen and me aren't there."

**HUH?**

"Why?" I asked and downed the rest of the shake. He was being cryptic.

Dad opened his mouth to speak but was distracted by this,

"Stop running, Leah! Come back here!"

Dad seemed to completely relax with relief; like the way I must have looked when I found out that I did well in my end-of-year tests even though I thought I would fail geography and maths.

Dad's whole body craned itself towards the male voice behind me. His lips turned up just a little. I think it was a smile but it wasn't fully formed; like he was trying to hide it or something.

I turned around to follow his eye line. The first thing I spotted was a little blond girl running in our general direction with a wide infectious grin, dressed in head to toe neon pink with a backpack hanging off her shoulders.

"Leah! Stop!"

I looked behind her and spotted Stephen running after her while steering a trolley that had a massive suitcase on it as well as another two backpacks and ... (WTF!) a laughing toddler.

I got to my feet when I saw dad walking into the young girl's path. His face broke into a grin as he scooped her into his arms easily. Stephen ground to a halt in front of us panting and looking flustered.

"Thank you!" He gasped, out of breath while resting his hands on his knees.

The little girl, Leah, was fighting to get out of dad's arms although she still looked ridiculously happy. The even littler boy sitting on the suitcase on the trolley was still laughing.

Bloody hell. THESE WERE STEPHEN'S KIDS! RIGHT?

Were they coming with us? They were, weren't they? 'Course they were.

Bollocks.

"You came." Dad said to Stephen, adjusting the squirmy girl in his arms and taking a step closer to him.

"Yeah." Stephen broke out into a big smile that nearly split his face as he closed the gap between them. "I wasn't sure you would come."

"And miss out on a picture with Mickey Mouse?"

They shared a smile that made me think, 'GET A ROOM!' but I stayed quiet. They looked at each other as if me, the girl and the boy weren't there.

"Daddy, can I have some juice please?" The little girl interrupted them and pointed at me. I realised that I was still holding onto my empty jug-sized cup of milkshake.

Dad cleared his throat and looked at Leah as if he forgot he was holding her.

"In a minute." Stephen said.

Honestly, now that I had had a better chance to look at him he definitely didn't look old enough to have kids. He was dressed in some pretty cool knee length jean shorts and a light blue airtex shirt not like the suits that dad wore a lot. Although, today even dad was dressed casually.

Ste looked over at me uncertainly. God knows why. Was I making him nervous?

"Hi, I'm Declan Brady." I said and stuck my hand out remembering what mum said about good first impressions. "Brendan's son."

Stephen looked down at my hand and then up at my face again. "Um, yeah. I-, I am Ste. Hay."

He took my hand and I gave it two firm pumps. "I know. I remember you from the club a couple of days ago. Pleased to meet you."

Stephen grinned broadly."Yeah. Same. We didn't really have a chance to get introduced then." He said and glanced over at dad who rolled his eyes. "This is Leah and Lucas. Leah is four and Lucas is two."

"Cool." I said and waved at them. Leah waved back. Lucas was playing drums on the suitcase.

"Kids, you know Brendan don't you?" Stephen said, looking up at dad for a second.

Leah nodded shyly and buried her head in dad's chest.

Hang on, wait a second. What kind of question was that? Why wouldn't they know my dad if Ste and him were going out?

"Right. Who's ready for Disney World?" Dad asked.

"Me!" Leah, Lucas and Ste shouted at the same time.

O.M.G MEGA-LAME! Okay, so I was ready too but I wasn't going to say so.

"Let's go." Dad whispered while looking around shiftily. He put Leah down, moved Lucas into Stephen's arms and piled our luggage on top of theirs on the trolley.

He kept looking around at passersby with a wild-eyed glare as we walked as a unit towards the drop-off desk. It was like he was embarrassed or something; like HE WANTED TO BREAK AWAY SOMEHOW FROM OUR GROUP. I sensed it. It was obvious.

I think Stephen noticed too because his face dropped.

'.'/

We sat in a row in the airplane. From window inwards this was our line-up; Me, Leah, the aisle, Dad, Lucas and Stephen.

I spent my time staring out of the window, playing video games, chatting to Leah and sharing earphones to listen to music on my MP3 player. She is alright for a little girl.

Lucas was asleep for most of the trip. Brendan and Ste didn't really talk much to one another but it wasn't like they were blanking each other. For example, I saw dad lean over Lucas's sleeping body in the booster seat and whisper something into Ste's ear that made him grin. They had runs of speaking in low hushed voices where I couldn't hear what they were saying even when I took my earphone out subtly.

Ste reached his hand out to dad three times during the trip that I noticed.

The first time, he put it on dad's knee and dragged it upwards. LIKE SERIOUSLY. My dad brushed him off while looking straight ahead.

The second time, he slowly interlinked his hand in dad's the way Aoife did to me when we were standing side by side, hanging out with our friends. This time dad didn't move... until a flight attendant walked past. Then he pulled away as if he had been scorched by a hot pan.

The last time was when dad, Lucas and Leah were asleep. I think Ste thought I was asleep too or couldn't see from where I was but I wasn't and I could. I stared at him (subtly) while he looked at dad with an expression that reminded me of those soppy romantic movies Aoife and Siobhan went on about, where the guy and girl always reunited at the end and usually there was rain falling and some stupid love song in the background.

Ste laid his head on his headrest while looking dad up and down with half-closed lazy eyes. When dad stirred he quickly turned away but when he realised that dad had just moved in his sleep to face him slightly, Ste went back to staring at him. Then, after a moment of hesitation (I knew it was hesitation because he chewed his lip then chewed the nail on his thumb then looked down to make sure Lucas was still sleeping) he leaned over and **TOUCHED HIS LIPS TO DAD'S** for a second before resting back in his seat with a self-satisfied look.

I turned my head away quickly.

It was** WEIRD **watching my dad getting kissed, and yeah, maybe more so because it was a dude. It was just so new for me to see my dad that way.

I looked back at Ste. One thing was for sure about him. He really, really, really, really, really liked my dad. And that made me happy, I think, because maybe he could take care of him when me or auntie Chez weren't around.

'.'/

We landed at Orlando-Sanford Airport ahead of time and took a cab straight to the hotel.

My dad walked up to the reception desk with Ste to check in while I was told to look after the bags and kids in the hall's seating area.

RAW DEAL.

"So where have you travelled from today?" The receptionist asked them.

"England." Ste said with a smile.

"Is this your first trip to Florida?"

"Yes." He replied, sounding almost as excited as I felt. I could see dad popping his gum the way he does when he is getting irritated. "We are going to check out Disney World and maybe the everglades."

"You will have a whale of a time." She said with a standard hospitality smile.

"Our rooms..." Dad said impatiently tapping the counter with a finger to draw her attention.

"Why yes, sir." The receptionist said, clearly a little taken aback by my dad's rude manner.

WELCOME TO BRENDAN BRADY. NO NONSENSE. NO FRILLS.

"We have two reservations on our system, sir. A family room for Mr Hay and a twin room for Mr Brady for seven nights." She frowned.

"Yes." Stephen said he turned around to me and his kids. He waved.

I saluted him (forefinger to temple) then carried on pretending to play my game when really I was listening to their conversation. Lucas and Leah waved back and then continued playing with toys they had taken from their backpacks.

Dad said. "Could you charge both rooms to my bill please?"

"No, Brendan." Ste protested and lightly gripped dad's elbow. "I want to pay my way."

The receptionist glanced between the two of them and at us kids and then frowned further.

"Yes, um. That should be possible. I'll transfer the charge." She had the most confused face on the planet.

"Is there a problem?" Dad asked, clocking her expression and forcefully pushing Ste's hand off him.

"Uh no. It's just, are you-" She darted her eyes between Ste and dad. "-Is this a family vacation?"

I stood up with my hands balled up into angry fists (well, the one without my Nintendo in it). For some reason her question really upset me. There was something in her voice that made me think she was judging and **I HATED PEOPLE WHO JUDGED.**

Dad was looking at her as if he was about to rip her head off her body with his bare hands.

"I would suggest you go for alternative sleeping arrangements." She said.

"What?" Dad said angrily, leaning across the desk. Ste looked upset.

"Are you denying us our rooms...?" He asked.

She looked shocked. "What? No! I mean, usually our family guests go for adjoining rooms; one double, one family so that the kids are close but not too close, if you know what I mean."

I swear she winked at them then.

"I could do that for you if you wished." She continued.

I calmed down and Ste took a slow breath out.

Dad and Ste spoke at the same time.

"Oh." Ste said. "Right. I thought you had a problem with-"

"No. I don't wish!" Dad said angrily at her.

Why was he annoyed? I thought she was about to boot us out of the hotel because dad was on holiday with a bloke. I was not naive. I knew that not everyone thought it was cool for two guys to be together.

**P.S. IN MY OPINION, PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT LIKE THAT WERE STUPID. **

But the receptionist wasn't one of them. She was trying to be helpful, although there was no way I was going to share a room with two little kids for a whole week.

Dad went, "If I had wanted an adjoining double and family I would have asked for it. What made you think that I wanted a double, huh?"

He got up in her face making her cower.

WHY WAS DAD BEHAVING LIKE THIS?

"It was just-" She whispered, and then glanced over at Ste.

"Brendan get away from her." Stephen hissed angrily.

Dad pulled away and looked over at Stephen who appeared disappointed and upset.

"Here are your keys." The receptionist said with a shaky voice. She placed them on the counter and Ste grabbed one quickly.

"Thank you." He said kindly to her.

"I am sorry if I misunderstood the situation."

"You didn't." Ste said then he looked at Brendan and whispered heatedly, "It's good to know that you feel there is no reason for us to have a double room."

"Stephen." Dad pleaded too quietly and subtly to make an impact.

"It's okay, Bren. I couldn't agree more. I'm taking _my_ kids to _our_ room. Don't bother checking in on us."

Stephen walked over to me and his kids and somehow managed to clear up the kids' toys, put small backpacks onto their backs and wheel the huge suitcase towards the lifts with his kids in obedient tow in no time.

He turned to glance at me. "I'll see you around, Declan."

I swallowed feelings of discontent and regret so that by the time I opened my mouth I must have looked blank and unemotional,

"Yeah. Sure. See ya."

'.'/


	3. A VISIT TO ANIMAL KINGDOM

The lift ride up to our hotel room in the Port Orleans resort in the French quarter of Disney World was made in complete silence. I kept glancing over at dad though. It was like he was in another world. His face was blank and expressionless, fixated on the panel that indicated what level we were on.

He walked ahead of me when we stopped on the fourth floor. He let us into our room, which was amazing by the way, and I checked the time on the big wall clock.

11.17am.

We had been in the states for only about TWO HOURS and already THERE WAS DRAMA.

Dad deliberately avoided eye contact with me as he began to unpack, flinging clothes out of his suitcase with more force than necessary and banging drawers and wardrobe doors closed as he put them away. He took out his toiletries, walked through to our bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him. There was silence and then the loud sound of what sounded like glass shattering along with my dad's low angry grunt.

I ran into the bathroom to find dad leaning over the sink with pure rage across his features. I don't think he noticed I was there.

His jaw was set, teeth bared in a way that reminded me of those predatory animals in the wild life documentaries Freddie and Aiden insisted I watch with them.

Dad was taking slow and exaggeratedly big deep breaths in and out. It was like he was trying to find order and control by pacing the rate that he filled his lungs.

"Dad?" I said and took a cautious step towards him. That was when I saw his hands curled around the white bowl of the sink so tightly that his knuckles looked lily white. Well, his right one did. His left one was dripping with blood, cut up with little shards of glass still embedded into his flesh. Glimmering. The mirror in front of him, that he was staring at as if he might find answers to all his questions, was like a spider's web of cracks radiating from a bloody centre.

F.U.C.K.I.N.G. H.E.L.L. (sorry for swearing but this was UNREAL!).

MY DAD MANGLED HIS HAND BY PUNCHING A MIRROR!

"Dad?" I was worried now.

He looked at me slowly, "Get out, Dec."

"You've hurt yourself." I said, stating the obvious.

"It's nothing."

"You're bleeding." I walked up to him and tried to assess the damage to his hand without touching.

He looked down at it, moved it with a slight wince and then turned his attention right back to his broken reflection in the mirror.

"I'll live."

"I've done first aid." I said then grabbed hold of his wrist. I pushed his hand under the sink, turning the tap on and watched in fascination as glass and blood run off him.

He pushed me away and muttered, "I can fix myself up, son." He started gently washing his hand, picking at the odd stubborn fixed bit of glass.

So, I leant back against the wall next to him and stared while holding a hand towel ready.

I went, "You'll need to lift it up and apply pressure after that."

He grunted.

"Why did you punch the mirror?" I asked although I was, like, 95% sure I knew the answer which was that he was frustrated and angry because Ste basically told him to piss off in the hotel lobby because DAD ACTED LIKE A DOUCHE CAN.

"Slipped." He mumbled after a moment and grabbed the towel from me, wrapping it around his hand like a Swiss roll.

LIE.

I folded my arms in front of me.

I knew all about slips, trips and falls. Breaking a mirror with your closed fist was no slip.

For over a year and up until a few months ago the world was a really unsteady place to live in for me. The floor would feel too far away one second and too close the next. The room I was in would spin and make me feel dizzy. I didn't trust the steps I took because odds were that I would end up bumping into something or someone or falling over nothing.

I was much better after Dr. Hanesh did surgery on the inside of my ears to correct my balance problem. I was practically back to normal.

I found out my true friends during that time. Freddie and Aiden stuck by me while others made fun of my new clumsiness.

Whatever.

Like Freddie said, 'It's not your fault your balance is off, mate. At least you are smart. Those fellas will always have the intelligence of dog shit.'

Freddie was right. I had the last laugh. Now, as well as being the third best in my class and in the drama group, I was on the football team. SO THERE.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, my dad lying.

"Why did you act like that in the hotel lobby?" I asked him.

"Like what?" He asked, walking past me to get back into the room so I followed him.

"You were mean..." I tugged at his elbow to force him to face me. "To that woman. To Ste. They didn't deserve it."

"Look." He hissed in my face. "Don't go sticking your neck in where it isn't wanted."

"This trip was your idea! That is why I am here." I said angrily. "But you have ruined it already!"

"Deccy." He mumbled, grabbing my shoulder with his good hand to try and calm me down.

"Why did you act like that?" I repeated.

Dad looked away and sighed the way he always did whenever I asked him anything he didn't like.

But I wasn't going to let it slide this time. This question was not going to get filed away in the 'later' cupboard.

I HAD HAD ENOUGH. I WANTED ANSWERS.

But my brain was already trying to figure things out on its own... One. Dad didn't tell ma about Ste as far as I knew and he definitely didn't tell me. I just kind of found out by mistake. Two. He looked cagey and uncomfortable the whole time during our trip from Liverpool to the resort hotel here in Orlando. Three. He didn't really act like Ste was his boyfriend. Like, he didn't hold his hand or, I don't know, give him a hug or something when we were out and about. WEIRD. Four. He denied his relationship to the receptionist just now. Five. Every time I tried to talk to him about Ste he clammed up and shut down.

In short...

"You are embarrassed about being with Ste, aren't you?"

"No." He said quickly but he couldn't even look at me when he said that.

"No?"

"Yes." He shook his head as if clearing it. "What do you want me to say?"

"How about the truth, dad?" I challenged him.

"We can still have fun without them. Who needs a bunch of screaming little kids, ey?"

I looked at him sadly. I had always hoped that I could have one of those bonds with my dad where I could feel like I could tell him anything but it was obvious that would never happen. After all, how could I trust my deepest thoughts and feelings with someone who couldn't give me anything of himself back?

"Yeah right." I said. My voice was defeated and tired. I pointed at the rolled up bloodied towel covering his cut up hand. "We are having a blast."

We looked at each other without saying much for a while and then I went,

"Could I have twenty dollars? I am going to get something to eat."

He delved into his wallet and handed me over sixty. "Let's go."

"No. It's okay. You stay here with your secrets."

I walked out after pocketing the cash and my theme park pass without looking back.

'.'/

I went to Animal Kingdom. Pretty awesome, right?

WRONG.

I was miserable.

After stuffing my face on two veggie hot dogs and a mega-jug of chocolate milkshake (my favourite) I walked aimlessly through the theme park going on the occasional ride but otherwise just sitting on benches listening to my mp3 player and watching the crowds walk past.

I managed to kill most of my first day in Orlando that way.

I eventually sat outside _DINOSAUR_ watching happy families (probably without secrets and lies) going in and out of the ride.

The truth was I was kind of homesick. I missed Dublin. It ran through my veins. I pictured my mates and my girlfriend. They were probably having a great time in_ Corca Dhuibhne_ and hadn't given me two thoughts. I pictured my kickass grandparents. I pictured my ma who always had a knack of knowing when I was feeling crap, like I was feeling right now. I even pictured that pest of a little brother of mine. Paraic could be a squirt but he was also funny when he wanted to be especially when he did his _Jedward_ impression.

The thing they all had in common, that I missed and I craved right now, was that THEY TALKED. OPENLY.

Unlike dad.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and out.

My phone was ringing like it had all day since I left the hotel room. I looked down. It was dad so I let it ring.

When it finally stopped, I looked at the time. 7.25pm local time.

Oops. I had been gone all day in a foreign country without telling my dad where I was.

HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME WHEN I GOT IN.

I _IM_ed Aiden.

_- Mate, how are things? Must be mental at Freddie's!_

He replied almost straight away,

_- Hi! Thought you'd be too busy having a good time at DW to think of us! Freddie's place is wicked as usual! Went snorkelling this am. His parents have just left for 3 days as planned! Tina is supposed to take care of us. _(Side note- Tina is the house help. She has been with the family since Freddie was a baby). _Freddie managed to unpick the lock to the wine cellar so it's going to get messy 2nite! Wish you were here, mate, obviously because we all miss you but also 'cos your girl is walking around like her cat died! _

_- She needs to get a blackberry then I could IM her!_

_- True! P.S. Freddie told me about your dad. He keeps saying that if things don't work out with Dan, your dad could be his sugar daddy. Sort him out when you get back, will you? _

I cracked a smile.

_- I will! Hell will freeze over before Freddie becomes my stepdad! Gross! _

_- !, So who is the boyfriend? _

_- A guy called Stephen. Looks a bit like Ed Trefell in __An Séú Bliain _(Side note- Ed was one of the school leavers this year who had been in the final year). _He's cool, I guess._

There was a pause before Aiden_ IM_ed again_._

_- Isn't it strange that your dad was straight and now he is gay? Has he told you what happened?_

I guess it was strange but since I couldn't get a straight answer from him about anything I was never going to find out, was I?

_- Maybe a part of him always was, you know, into guys. I don't know. _

_- He must have had sex at least twice with your ma to have you and Paraic!_

_- Ew, Why bring that up? Now I totally have an image in my head!_

_- Sorry!_

I hesitate before typing,

_- I don't think he likes the fact that he is._

_- What? Gay? _

_- Yeah. Him and Ste had an argument and I bet that was the reason._

_- My parents argue all the time. It doesn't mean anything. _

_- They don't argue over your dad denying that he is married to your mum though._

_- No. That's true. Don't know what to tell you, mate. Just have fun out there and ignore them. They'll either sort it out or not._

Aiden had a point.

_- O.M.G. Freddie is pouring red wine over the girls and threatening to lick it off them! I swear he is getting crazier! Maybe we should get him sectioned!_

_- Tell him to keep his hands off my girl!_ (I am joking. Freddie is harmless... and gay, so...)

_- I don't think you need to worry about Freddie. Dan has just pinned him down to the floor! Fucking hell! They need to get a room! Look, mate, I've gotta go. It's all kicking off! The booze is flowing... literally. Tina is going to flip when she sees the mess! I'll say hi to everyone for you. Let the fun begin! Bye!_

My heart sank as I pictured them all having a great time without me.

_- Yeah, and I am about to go on a dinosaur ride with dad so I better go too._

I lied.

My friend didn't reply. He was gone already.

I had no urge to go on any more rides alone so I made my way back to the hotel using the shuttle service. My phone kept ringing over and over again but I didn't bother looking at it.

I knew who it was already.

'.'/

I ran up the steps that led to the hotel lobby at about nine in the evening and made my way towards the lifts. While waiting for one I tried to figure out how I was going to avoid speaking to dad.

"Declan!"

I turned my head towards the voice behind me.

Ste walked up to me quickly holding a Discman in his hands.

"Where have you been?" He asked anxiously.

I tried to act cool. "Out. Why?"

"Your father has been worried sick. He told me he has been ringing you all day." He looked me up and down carefully. "Are you okay? Where were you?"

"Animal Kingdom." I scowled. "You spoke to dad?"

Ste suddenly looked upset. "Yeah, briefly on the phone. He, um, he wondered whether I had seen you."

"He doesn't care anyway."

"You are his son. Of course he cares."

The lift doors opened in front of us.

"I am his son only when it suits him, Ste. Otherwise he treats me like a stranger who has no business knowing _his_ business."

Ste frowned. "What are you talking about?"

I shook my head.

"I don't know why you are defending him anyway. He has been an eejit to you." I said.

Ste stopped the lift doors from closing with his foot. He bit his inner lip while studying me and then said, "Things between your dad and me... it's complicated."

"Why?" I asked.

He opened and shut his mouth a few times as if undecided about how to approach the answer so I said,

"I don't want to go to my room yet." I said.

"You'll have to face him some time."

"I know." I said. "Just not now."

Ste nodded. I think he understood what I meant. "I have to get back to the kids. They might wake up any minute and freak out if I'm not there."

"Can I come with you for a bit?"

His face showed the battle in his mind.

"Um, yeah, I guess. For a short while only though. Then you have to see your dad before he sends out a search party."

"Deal." I smiled slightly and he smiled back.

"By the way. Why do you have one of those relics?" I pointed at the Discman.

His grin broadened. "I got it from the concierge. This is my lifesaver."

'.'/

As soon as we got into his room, Ste quietly tip toed to his bed, put the CD that was on it into the disc player and pressed play.

I found my lips curl up into a small bemused grin as I recognised the repetitive mellow sound coming from it.

"That's a washing machine." I whispered.

"Yep." Ste put his forefinger to his lips when Leah stirred a little in her bed. "My kids sleep through the night when it plays. I burned it before flying out."

"Cool." I said quietly.

"Sit." He said and pointed to his bed. He went to the bar, took out orange juice and beer from its fridge then sat down next to me.

I reached for the beer.

He grinned while pulling it out of my grasp and gave me the carton of juice. "Nice try, kiddo."

"I am not a kid." I said as I poked a hole into the silver circle at the top of the carton with the attached straw.

I looked at Ste as he studied his sleeping kids with a content smile. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-one last month."

"Really?"

Jesus, he was only SIX YEARS OLDER THAN ME which made him about **FOURTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN MY DAD**!

He nodded.

"Um, like..." I looked at Leah, who was sprawled out on top of her covers on her bed dressed in pink pyjamas. "How come you have kids?"

Ste gulped at his beer. "I was going out with their mother for a few years... one thing led to another... you know..."

"You were with a woman?" I asked curiously.

He grinned at my shocked expression. "Yeah. Don't look so surprised!"

"It's just that I figured that people are born either gay or straight. Like, for example, I always knew I was into chicks." I said.

Ste smiled at me. "Did you?"

"Yeah."

"Have you got a girlfriend?" He asked.

I couldn't help my smug smile and nodded. "Her name is Aoife."

I took out my blackberry and showed him a picture of me and her.

"Pretty." He commented.

I looked at him. It was weird because it was so much easier speaking to Ste than it was my father. In fact dad didn't even know that I was dating.

HE NEVER ASKED.

"Some people are bi." Ste said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"You said that people are either born gay or straight."

"My mate Freddie says 'bi today, gay tomorrow.'" I countered.

"Well, in my case he is right." Ste went. His grin was sly when he leaned in to whisper. "Actually, no. I was in denial in the beginning."

I chewed this over. So Ste always knew what he was gay.

"Do you reckon dad has always liked blokes even when he was with my ma?"

Ste was about to take a sip from his bottle but stopped when I mentioned dad. "You would have to ask him."

"I can't." I went. "I mean, every time I try to speak to him or ask him questions he gets angry or avoids the subject or something. He doesn't talk like you do."

Ste said nothing but it was like his silence spoke for itself.

"He has other ways of communicating." He said after a moment.

I remembered dad's bloodied hand and the broken mirror.

"Yes." I agreed.

"Look. I think maybe you should go now." He said. "It's getting late and it's been a long day."

"In a minute." I took a slow sip of my drink.

My phone beeped loudly and I grabbed it quickly while Ste looked in horror towards his kids. I felt guilty as I saw Lucas move sluggishly and whine a little as he hovered closed to waking before slipping back into sleep again.

Ste and I both exhaled slowly. I checked the sender's ID then turned my phone to silent mode.

"Was that your dad?" He asked.

I nodded. "Are you guys over then?"

"I don't know, Dec." He said sadly. "Your dad needs to figure out what he wants. I ... care about him... a lot, but right now I am not sure if we are a good fit."

There is something in me that wants to scream, _No! Give him another chance. He isn't a total douche, I promise!_

And I think it is because I have decided that Ste is solid. Like, if he wasn't dad's boyfriend or whatever, it would be cool if he was my mate.

As it happens, I didn't get to say anything because there was a soft knock to the door.

Ste and I looked at each other.

It could only be one person.

Ste indicated towards the bathroom and I quietly ran into it and closed myself in.

A minute later, I heard the hotel room door open and then,

"What do you want, Brendan?" A pause. "What happened to you hand?"

There was definite concern there.

"It's nothing. Have you heard from him?"

There was a pause and then Ste said. "Yeah. He, uh, he is fine. He went to Animal Kingdom. He is on his way back. I think he went for some supper after. Yeah. Definitely. He did. He'll be less than fifteen minutes."

"How the fuck do you know?" Dad said with an edge of anger.

"Keep your voice down. My kids are sleeping." Ste hissed. "I called him. He picked up."

They didn't say anything for a while.

"If that is all..." Ste said and then I heard the door hit against something; probably my dad, standing in its way. Ste must have been trying to close it.

"Wait!" Dad said.

"What?" Ste sounded tired and impatient. "Get out of the way."

I heard the same door sound again.

"No." Dad went. "Look. What I did...When we checked into the hotel earlier... I'm sorry, Stephen."

He barely whispered. "I'm really sorry."

"Not as sorry as I am. Now if that is all."

"It isn't."

"I'm not going over this again, Bren. Until you can acknowledge what we are without worrying about what the world might think and acting like I have the plague every time we step out together, this..." there was a pause, "... us... is not going to happen. Do. You. Understand. That?"

Ste said that last part really slowly as if trying to communicate with someone really thick.

"I have got us a double room." Dad whispered.

Ste said nothing or at least nothing that I could hear from the bathroom. I pressed my ear to the door making sure not to make a sound. I learn from mistakes!

"Actually, it is a double with a door linking it to a family room just three doors down." He muttered. I heard him clear his throat as if he was a bit shy or something. "So I figured your kids could stay in the family room. Declan could stay here so that he can have his privacy and we... uh, well, you know..."

Geez. My dad was acting like a RIGHT GEEK. He sounded about ten times worse than I did when I asked Aoife if she wanted to come home for supper so that mum could meet her.

"We, uh, what?" Ste whispered.

"We could maybe stay in the double." Dad dragged out.

"And have our own private time?" Ste went with a soft voice that reminded me of the grumble of autumn leaves. I felt like covering my ears up but at the same time I didn't. I got what he meant by 'private time'. I got it loud and clear.

"Yeah." Dad's voice was thick and low.

"Away from our kids' prying eyes."

"Exactly."

I heard the subtle brush of clothes and skin then the wet smack of lips colliding and parting again.

This was turning into my worst NIGHTMARE. I really did not want to witness anymore even if it was just sound. I closed my eyes like that would help!

**EWWWW!**

"And the world's prying eyes." Ste said. His voice had developed an unexpectedly sharp tone to it. "We wouldn't want that either, right?"

"What?" Dad sounded confused.

"You are not getting me back that easily. I think you should get back to your room and wait for your son, Brendan. Enjoy the extra bed space, yeah." Ste said.

"Stephen. No."

But after a struggle I heard the door shut.

Dad was gone and the click of the latch to Ste's room sounded pretty final.


	4. CAN A LEOPARD CHANGE ITS SPOTS?

Once dad left, Ste gave me the all clear to come back into the room. He told me that dad had changed our rooms with a tone of voice that held no fire. No drive.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Sure. Just tired." He sounded flat. "I'll find out what room you are in."

When he came off the phone to the reception desk, he turned to me, "411 and 412."

"Thanks." I made my way to the door then turned to face him. "I heard, by the way. You know. Your chat with dad."

His smile looked so forced that he shouldn't have bothered. "I figured."

"I'm not defending him or anything but he's not all bad." I said quietly while gripping the door open.

"Yeah, I know." He replied. "I wouldn't have gone with him in the first place if he was."

He took a step closer to me and cocked his head to one side while he bored his eyes into me.

He whispered. "You are so similar to him in many ways. Same eyes, for example. Same expressions."

"I guess. But I'm not really." I said. There were some things my dad and I had in common but there were others that made us total opposites. "I should go. Wish me luck."

"You won't need it. He'll just be relieved you are okay." He grinned. "Come over whenever you want, yeah. I know how your dad can get a little intense sometimes."

"Yeah. Thanks."

'.'/

Dad opened the door as soon as I knocked. I was faced with a room that looked identical to Ste's a few doors down.

"Declan." he said. His blue eyes, the same blue as mine, stared at me as if seeing a ghost.

"Dad."

Although I looked dead confident, with my back straight and hands in pockets, inside I felt really tense.

How angry was he?

I was shocked when I felt his arms wrap around me, his good hand clutching at the fabric of my t-shirt on my back, pulling me in. His chin settled onto my shoulder and I felt his breath on my neck, releasing a long sigh.

For a second, I just stood there, rigid until I relaxed and hugged him back.

"Don't ever do that again." He whispered. "You had me worried sick and your ma would kill me if anything happened."

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"You got my texts. The change of rooms."

I nodded but the truth was I still hadn't checked the content of his messages.

He pushed me to arm's length. He said nothing for a while just looked at me as if seeing me for the first time.

"You're creeping me out, dad." I said slowly.

"I forget sometimes... You are a man now."

"Yeah." I said puffing my chest out a bit.

"I promise things are going to change, son." He looked at me. "With me. But not overnight. Takes a while for a leopard to change its spots."

"Doesn't the saying go that it cannot ever change?" I challenged.

There was a twitch in his cheek and the look of a caged animal in his eyes.

"This one can." He said this with the same level of determination that ma did every time she said '_I will get in_' at the swimming pool near home before bottling it at the last minute.

"Okay." I said doubtfully and looked at the crepe dressing on his left hand. "How's the hand?"

"Fine. I'll have this off by the morning." He wriggled his fingers. "You went to Animal Kingdom?"

"Yeah. Ste tell you?" I acted like I didn't know.

He looked down suddenly. "Yeah. Yeah. He did."

"Can I have this room, please?" I asked, taking in the family room.

ALL PART OF AN ILL-FORMED PLAN IN MY HEAD.

STEP 1- MAKE SURE DAD GETS THE DOUBLE.

"Um, yeah. Sure." Dad said.

"Why have we changed rooms, by the way?" I tested him, hoping that he would come out with the truth.

"I, uh, told reception about my accident with the bathroom mirror. It needed fixing. We were moved."

My heart dropped with disappointment at him LYING TO ME. I know he moved as a gesture to Ste. This leopard was not going to change his spots easily.

"Right." I muttered.

I shoved past him and went to my suitcase, pulling out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that acted as my night clothes.

I stripped and got changed. "So what are we going to do tomorrow?" I asked.

"What do you fancy?" He replied.

"Dunno. _Water World_?" I said. I picked up the room's phone.

STEP 2-FORCE DAD AND STE TO MEET AGAIN.

"What are you doing?" Dad asked.

"Asking Ste if he and his kids want to come along." I said. There was a challenging note to my voice that said, '_Why? Have you got something to say about that?_'

"Right." He said dragging the word out. "Bit late, isn't it? Might wake the kids up."

"It'll be okay." I dialled 408.

Ste picked up after one ring.

"Hello." He whispered.

"Ste. It's Declan."

"Oh, hiya mate!" He said quietly, then, "Everything okay?"

I looked over at dad. "Yeah. Yeah."

Dad walked through the door that led to the double room next door.

"I was wondering whether you wanted to come to the water park tomorrow." I spoke into the phone quietly, covering my mouth with my hand.

There was dead air for a while before Ste said, "As in me, my kids and you _and_ your dad?"

"Yes, I mean, no." I said after a micro-hesitation. I glanced at the adjoining door making sure dad wasn't listening and dropped my voice further. "Just me."

"Then, okay." Ste sounded relieved.

We arranged to meet in the hotel lobby tomorrow and I ended the call.

STEP 2 DONE.

I crawled into the crisp white sheets of my bed, curled up and started to fret about how Dad and Ste were going to handle meeting each other again.

"You going to sleep?" Dad must have walked back into my room.

"Yep." I muttered as I turned to face him.

He had changed for bed too. The silence extended for so long that I thought that he was stroking out or something.

"So, uh, what... what did Stephen say... about tomorrow?" He asked eventually.

"Yes."

"He said yes?" He was surprised. His face broke into a broad genuine smile then he cleared his throat and acted like the news was neither here nor there.

"Dad, I am trying to sleep." I said turning away from him. "So 'night."

Bugger! I felt guilty. What if Ste freaked out and stormed off when he saw dad tomorrow?

"Night, little man."

'.'/

The next morning, after having breakfast and packing our swimming trunks, dad and I got to the hotel lobby at exactly 8.47am. I could tell that dad wanted to be early even though he didn't say so.

When 9 am came and went and there was no sign of Ste and his kids, he started pacing.

When 9.15 came and went I started getting anxious. Dad kept looking towards the lift. It would not have been obvious to a stranger but his jerky movements, shifting eyes and 'tache stroking were tell-tale signs of frayed nerves.

Finally, the lifts opened at 9.22 and Lucas and Leah came bouncing out gleefully, blabbering animatedly about a load of Disney characters that they wanted to see. Lucas was already in his swimming shorts and a sky blue t-shirt. Leah was in what must have been an all-in-one yellow swimming costume under a pink skirt with her hair in bunches.

Ste followed them out in his jean shorts, t-shirt and a large backpack. He looked worn out already. I guess getting two under-fives ready was a mammoth task.

When he spotted me he began apologising,

"Look Dec, I am so sorry we are late, Lucas decided to pee on his trousers and then..."

He looked to my left and stopped speaking midsentence. He saw dad and his jaw dropped. I honestly thought that he was about to walk off in anger but unfortunately for him, Leah came up to me with a huge grin on her face.

"Deccy!" She said loudly, "Hello!"

"Hi Leah." I said.

She hugged my legs and turned to Ste with a beaming smile. "Daddy, it's Deccy!"

Then she looked at dad and smiled shyly at him, waving at him tentatively.

"Shit." I saw Ste mouth under his breath.

HE WAS NOT HAPPY.

Leah was still looking at dad with a cute shy expression.

"Hi princess." Dad said and gave her a smile.

"Hello." She said before burying her face into my leg.

"What are you doing here?" Ste asked dad.

"We are going to Water World." Dad said.

"Oh."

I could practically hear their brains thinking... and then they turned to look at me with dagger eyes.

I should have felt bad but I didn't because it was time for STEP 3- MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. GET THEM TO GET ALONG AGAIN.

I ignored them both and instead picked Lucas up and spoke to him and Leah.

I grinned slyly and said, "Are you guys ready to get totally drenched in water? Like soaking?"

Leah nodded shyly and Lucas shouted,

"Water!"

"Yeah! Cool. So am I!" I said and the three of us made our way out of the hotel entrance.

I knew I left dad and Ste with little choice but to follow.

RESULT!

'.'/

WATER WORLD WAS BRILLIANT!

Some of the waterslides were so long that I nearly freaked out that there might not be an end at one point!

Through all the fun, however, I noticed very early on that dad and Ste barely talked. The atmosphere was uncomfortable.

Even though they had probably exchanged a maximum of two words by mid-afternoon they were still constantly looking at each other. Actually, honestly, I would call it **PERVING**. SERIOUSLY. But not the way Aiden did when checking out the girl's netball team with his tongue hanging out and drooling almost. It was more like how I would glance at Aoife for a split second during our drama group when she wore that top that was a bit see through in the right light. SUBTLE, like.

That is how Ste and dad were. I don't think they even knew that the other was staring but I did because I was perceptive like that.

Anyway, the point is they were not talking to each other. In fact, they were communicating almost entirely through us kids. In the afternoon, it reached a head after we all emerged from a swim in _Typhoon Lagoon_. We soaked up the Florida sun in our swimming clothes while water dripped from our bodies. The five of us were in a loose circle near the edge of the water.

Ste silently rubbed a fresh layer of factor 25 sun block onto his squirming kids' skin and then straightened up.

"What do you want to do next, _Shark Reef_ or _Surf Pool_?" He asked me.

"_Shark Reef_, for sure." I said as I caught the sunscreen bottle that he chucked at me and began applying it to my chest and arms.

Dad said to me,

"Lucas, Leah and me will check out _Ketchakiddee Creek_ then. We will go on all the kiddie waterslides, won't we guys?" He turned to Leah who had totally taken a shine to him and was hanging onto every word he said.

"Yes." She said emphatically and grabbed his hand.

Ste planted a kiss on Leah's forehead and ruffled Lucas's hair. "Okay, have fun and be good. I'll see you two in two hours."

He deliberately excluded dad from his address.

Dad said to the kids, "Don't you guys want to see Declan and your dad sooner? Like in one hour?"

Leah and Lucas nodded in unison.

Ste said to them, "Don't you want to spend lots of time on the waterslides and go whoosh! You would need _more than an_ hour."

Again they nodded.

"But if we all meet up in _ONE_ hour, then we can all have some ice cream together. How does that sound?" Dad asked them.

"Ice cream!" Lucas shouted happily and clapped his hands together.

Ste looked sharply at dad then turned to his kids, "You know you don't get to have ice cream before having proper food first. I think Brendan forgot."

Dad grinned icily, "I think your daddy has forgotten that this is a holiday and we are all here to have fun."

"I think Brendan has forgotten the nightmare of taking care of young children with a sugar rush." Ste said angrily.

"No. Brendan hasn't forgotten!" Dad hissed. "But it seems your dad has forgotten that I also raised two kids of my own. I know what I am doing."

Leah and Lucas looked confused.

Dad and Ste stared off angrily.

I looked in horror at what looked like a proper fight in the making.

MY ILL-CONCEIVED PLAN WAS CRUMBLING.

"Daddy?" Leah said in a small pinched voice. "Can we go to the kiddie slides with Deccy, please?"

"You don't want to go with Brendan?" Ste asked with a self-satisfied smile.

Leah shook her head.

"I'll go with you then." He said to her.

"No. I want Deccy." She insisted.

I smiled. Smart kid that Leah. She could sense bad vibes from her dad and mine and didn't want to be anywhere near them. And she lead me straight to STEP 4.

STEP 4- GET DAD AND STE TO HAVE SOME ALONE TIME.

I said, "It's cool. Leah, Lucas and I will have a blast. You guys have fun while we tear up _Ketchakiddee Creek_."

Ste looked over at Brendan, "Uh. No! I don't want to go anywhere with him!"

"That's mature." Dad said sarcastically. Then he said, "I think you have made it pretty clear that you would rather be anywhere else, Stephen." He grabbed a towel and rubbed it through his hair. "Why let me ruin your fun here? You want to do _Shark Reef_? I'll stay out of your way. You swim with those sharks, cowboy."

Ste looked at him cautiously. He licked his lips slowly as he stared at dad as if considering his options. His eye line fell on the crucifix tattoo dad had on his upper arm, near his shoulder.

"I, um, it's okay." Ste said. "Whatever. We can go together. But don't think, you know... It's just for convenience, yeah...?"

His voice faded to nothing.

Dad looked him up and down with hooded, unhurried eyes.

**LIKE A SEX PEST! YEP, MY DAD! SO GROSS!**

"Yeah, 'course. Convenience. Sure."

"Yeah." Ste said and swallowed nervously. "Convenience."

He turned to me. "You going to be okay with these little guys?"

"Yes. After Paraic, this is going to be a walk in the park." I smiled as I held one kid in each hand.

"Okay, see you in a bit." Dad said. "And don't lose sight of them, Dec."

"I won't."

Dad and Ste headed towards the shark tank, while keeping more than a metre distance between them. It was like they were repelling each other.

This was not going as well as I'd hoped.

'.'/

Just over an hour later, they turned up at _Ketchakiddee Creek_.

"How were the sharks?" I asked from my sun lounger. Leah was splashing around with some other kids in a supervised shallow pool two yards away from me and Lucas was sitting between my legs, constructing something with Lego bricks.

"Yeah, good." Dad said and then looked over at Ste who nodded his agreement.

Leah ran towards us once she spotted that her dad and mine were back.

First thing I noticed? They were much closer to each other physically, like they had broken down that barrier they had built up.

Second thing I noticed? Ste was already darker than he had appeared this morning. He tanned easily.

I turned to look at dad then lowered my sunglasses over my eyes and shielded them with a hand. Then I said,

"Dad, you are so pale you are blinding me!"

"Funny!" He said with a smile and threw a towel at me.

"Actually, he's right, you do look kind of pale, Bren." Ste said with a twinkle in his eye.

Hang on; were they actually talking to each other?

"Hey!" Dad said to Ste with a grin. He glanced at Leah, "Do you agree? You think I'm pale?"

He showed her his white skin and she nodded sombrely.

"Yeah." Leah said. "Like a ghost."

Ste and I started laughing.

"Oh my God!" Dad said and clutched his chest as if he had just been shot. "You too, Leah? I thought you were my friend!"

She giggled shyly, covering her mouth with both hands.

"I am!" She said.

Ste was looking over at dad.

That is when I figured that adult relationships were seriously complicated because on the one hand, I could tell that he was still being cautious around dad. On the other hand, when he thought no one was looking, Ste looked at dad as if he wouldn't notice if everything else completely faded away forever leaving them alone in this world.

'.'/

By the time we got back to the hotel, everyone was exhausted. We went up the lifts together to the fourth floor.

While saying our goodbyes, before going to our respective rooms, we heard an out of breath,

"Stephen!"

I looked across to the stairwell to see the hotel's concierge running towards us.

Ste's smile was confused as the hotel staff member drew to a stop near us. "Hi, Greg. Alright?"

"Hi. Yeah. I'm fine."

Dad looked at Ste closely when it was obvious Ste and Greg knew each other from a previous encounter. Then he stared Greg down like a scientist about to perform animal dissection. I could see his eyes picking on every part of the concierge.

This Greg guy was probably a little older than Ste, like maybe mid-twenties. Dark brown hair with a cool cut. Brown eyes. A slightly cocky look like he was someone who probably hasn't heard 'no' said to him much. Smart uniform. He looked like he worked out. I could see the beginnings of a black tattoo on his left wrist.

In short, he looked like the kind of guy Siobhan and Freddie would go a little crazy over.

Dad moved imperceptibly so that you could have sworn he was slightly shielding Ste from this bloke.

"Hi." Greg was smiling like an eejit as he looked at Ste.

Ste frowned but with an amused look. "You said that already!"

Dad stuck his face in Greg's and said bluntly, "Can we help you?"

"Um, no sir. You can't. I was looking for Ste."

"Ste?" Dad raised an eyebrow.

"Mr. Hay." Greg corrected himself.

"Ste's fine." Ste said.

"You mean Stephen here. One of the hotel's guests." Dad emphasised 'guests'.

I wasn't the only one to detect jealousy in his tone. Ste looked over at him and smiled slightly while shaking his head.

"Yes. I, um, I was wondering whether you still needed the Discman? I mean, it is fine if you do. You know, whatever. You can give it back whenever." Greg said as he looked cautiously at dad.

"If you really need it I can give it back now." Ste said while dad looked between him and Greg. "Come to my room. I'll get it for you."

I swear Dad was grinding his teeth.

Greg cleared his throat and his grin broadened even more. "Yeah sure. That sounds-"

"He doesn't need to go to your room with you, Stephen!" Dad ground out furiously.

Ste was taken aback.

Dad looked at Greg. "And next time, Mr. I-can-never-do-too-much-for-you, you can call up to the room if you want your Walkman back. A personal appearance isn't necessary."

"Discman." Greg said quietly.

"Whatever." Dad said.

Greg looked at Ste and said, "Guess I should go. I'll talk to you later."

Ste nodded slightly.

Greg gave dad a parting death glare before walking off.

Dad shouted at his retreating form. "I don't think so, ye chancer!"

Once Greg was out of sight, Ste spoke to me with a calm voice that was kind of eerie,

"Would you mind watching the kids for a few minutes? I need to speak with your dad."

"Yeah, sure." I said nervously as I took the kids into my room.

Ste and dad went into dad's room next door.

"What was that about?" Ste sounded annoyed as I heard him through the door and wall that separated our rooms.

It felt like all I did was eavesdrop on conversations since coming to see dad.

"Jesus, Stephen! Couldn't you see that he was trying to get into your pants?"

"He wasn't. And even if he was what does it matter to you?"

Dad grunted.

"You can't have it both ways, Bren. You don't have a right to be jealous." Ste said. "It is called possession. Let me explain it to you. I belong to you and you belong to me. Nobody would try it on with me in front of you if they knew there was something going on between us."

Dad grunted again. "So what are you saying? That you are fair game? Available?"

"I am saying that Greg won't be the only one to think I am single on this trip with the way you act around me."

"And what was today then?" Dad asked.

I wouldn't say that he had changed his spots and I know that he hadn't exactly acknowledged their relationship in public but seriously,

I THINK DAD WAS TRYING.

Why couldn't Ste see that and cut him some slack?

"Clearly not nearly enough." Ste said.

The door connecting the two rooms suddenly flung open and Ste walked in and got his kids. He gave me a tense smile and walked off without a further word.


	5. SEXY BITS!

When I woke up the next day feeling a little hot and flustered, I knew immediately what kind of dream I had been having. I lifted up the thin white sheet that covered me and peeked down towards my groin.

YEP. As I suspected I was 'ready for action'.

The dream had left me feeling frustrated and thinking of Aoife (Sometimes I thought of Mme. Petit, my French teacher, or Mila Kunis)...

Anyway, there was only one solution for this.

I looked at the door that connected my room to dad's to make sure it was closed and then I did what every guy my age did more often than they admitted. Hand tucked into my shorts, I got down to business.

When I felt myself getting close I shut my eyes tight and imagined my fantasy (and from what Aoife had told me, it would remain a fantasy for a painfully long time...); my girlfriend not wearing much in my bed and, you know, **DOING WHAT MY HAND WAS DOING ONLY WITH HER MOUTH(!)**.

**WOW!**

"Hey kiddo."

My dad's breezy tone was followed by a sound that came from somewhere deep in his throat; surprise, shock and embarrassment.

"Dad!" I said mortified. He was staring at me with a frozen expression as he stood just inside my room. "Get out!"

I turned away from him in my bed and hid underneath the sheet.

He mumbled,

"I was going down for breakfast. But I can see that you are, uh ... busy... so, uh, I'll go ahead."

"Yeah." I said grimacing inside. "'Kay."

He was still there. I could hear him breathing.

He cleared his throat. "Declan, it's..." He cleared his throat again, "... totally normal, son."

"Go away." I said feeling myself go impossibly red.

"I'm just saying," He continued, "Masturbation; it's one of those things all us lads do. If you want to talk about your body changing ... experiencing new emotions... having, uh, intimate relations with someone else..."

"Oh my God!" I groaned in despair. Was he offering me the SEX TALK... NOW?

**NOOOOOOOOOO!**

Now I understood why Freddie and Dan got all squirmy about their parents ROUTINE 'TALKS'. It was enough to put you off!

IT WAS LIKE THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING **EVER!**

"Dad, seriously! Please go." I pleaded, mumbling into my pillow.

"Okay. No problem. It's embarrassing, I get that." Then he said, "Here if you need, son."

The door closed and, after a moment, my body relaxed and I felt like I could breathe again. I looked down at my crotch. No surprises. Things had gone down since I last checked...

Strange. I had spent years wanting to bond with my dad, wanting us to share our thoughts and feelings and stuff. But in that moment I was happy for us to stay distant!

'.'/

FOR **THREE** SOLID DAYS we didn't see or speak to Ste or his kids. In fact, from dad's behaviour, it was as if they didn't exist and we hadn't come out on holiday together. He didn't mention Ste at all but I knew that he still thought of him and missed him loads because he would blank out mid conversation or stare into the distance or grimace as if his thoughts were leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

I didn't know what to do about it. I had tried to get them together but it didn't work. I guess it wasn't my place to be peacemaker. Like Aiden said,

'_Just have fun out there and ignore them. They'll either sort it out or not.'_

He was right.

Maybe Dad and Ste weren't meant to be together.

Whatever, I wasn't going to let their drama completely spoil my holiday so on the first of those three days I dragged dad to _Animal __Kingdom_. It was so much better on the rides a second time around with company.

We had a great time.

On the second day, we checked out _Disney's Hollywood Studios._ It was good overall but dad was in a really bad mood:

- '_Why are all the queues so fecking long?'_

- '_If one more person tells me to 'have a good day' with that shit-eating grin, so help me God...!'_

- '_They on happy pills, Dec? Seriously. It's medication or madness. Either way they deserve to be shot.'_

On the third day, I had to wake him up.

After having a shower and getting dressed, I creeped into dad's room on the tips of my toes. I found him sprawled out on his front in a star shape dressed in his boxers with the silver chain of his crucifix shimmering around his neck as the morning sun reflected off it from a break in the curtains. His snore was loud.

There were five empty miniature whisky bottles and three beer cans on his side table.

GREAT, (I mean that sarcastically) he must have been drinking with purpose last night after I went to sleep.

I walked towards his bathroom to get him a glass of water. While there, I opened his travel toiletry bag and looked inside. Maybe he had some painkillers that would help with any hangover he might have. I knew all about hangovers because I had one two months ago after going round to Aiden's flat and sharing a bottle of his mum's vodka with him when she was out.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

I puked everywhere and we both got grounded for two weeks... NEVER AGAIN!

I leafed through the contents of dad's bag; hair gel, aftershave, deodorant, moisturiser, nail clippers, fine scissors, shaving razor, condoms, shaving foam...HANG ON... WAIT A SECOND...

**CONDOMS?**

I picked them up. There were two unopened packs. One said,

_These condoms are __created to enhance feeling between you and your partner. They are extra fine with extra lubrication and aim to heighten sensitivity. Maximum pleasure with no compromise on safety. _

The other pack said,

_These condoms have__ raised dots that are ideal for an intense experience in the bedroom. Spicy!_

**EWWWWW!**

I placed them back in the bag and found what I was looking for. I shakily took two pain tablets out of a nearly full blister pack and tucked them into my jeans pocket.

Before closing the bag, my eyes landed on a clear bottle that held a gloopy substance in it. Intrigued, I picked it up and read the label. All that was written on it was,

_PLAY!_

_Warming, intimate lube_

I dropped it back into dad's bag quickly as if someone had electrocuted me.

**URGH (x A THOUSAND)! **

It was stuff to use in SEX. I remembered it being mentioned in _Sex Ed_ class. Lube ... eased ... things... in... right? I was right, wasn't I?

O.M.G (as Freddie would say)!

I wiped my palms on my jeans because I was totally distressed that it had become one hundred percent real that DAD AND STE HAD SEX SOMETIMES...

**LIKE PROPER SEX!**

It was so weird and a little gross thinking about my parent's that way. Like my mum and Martin. I puked up a little just thinking about it. It was just kind of wrong...

It looked like dad had come on this trip with high hopes of scoring with Ste but so far he was failing miserably.

I zipped the bag up and took the glass of water through to the room.

"Dad. Wake up." I said.

"Huh." He groaned groggily as if there was something stuck in his throat.

I nudged his side. "We are supposed to be going to the _Blizzard Beach_ today. Come on."

He slowly turned onto his back and squinted up at me, shielding his eyes from the sun that streamed through the curtains. He looked pale and rough as.

"What time is it?" He asked as he reached for his sunglasses and slipped them on.

"Just after ten."

He swore under his breath. "Okay, give me fifteen minutes."

He gingerly sat up and I passed him the water. "Thanks." He mumbled and took a sip.

"Why did you drink half the mini-bar?" I asked.

I knew the answer was BECAUSE HE WAS MISSING STEPHEN but I wanted him to admit it out loud.

"I didn't. I barely made a dent in its stock."

"Still, it is quite a lot though. Martin says you should never drink more than a glass of alcohol alone otherwise you are an alchy."

"Martin is a moron."

"He isn't. Alcohol doesn't solve problems, dad." I said with a cocky grin and handed him the pain pills when he stroked his head in discomfort. "Here."

He looked at me sharply. "Where did you get them?"

"Your bag. In the bathroom."

"My-" He went whiter than he already was. "Right."

He looked away.

"Yeah." I said.

We said nothing more on the subject. I knew that he knew that I knew about the condoms and lube.

I considered us all square since he caught me 'relieving' myself a couple of days back.

"By the way," dad said pointing at the empty alcohol bottles, "I don't want you to think this is cool. It's not."

"I know."

'.'/

When we got back at the end of the day, feeling exhausted and waterlogged we headed straight for the lifts. Dad said we could order room service because neither of us could be arsed to eat out.

As we crossed the reception, I spotted Ste standing in a far corner of the lobby. Leah and Lucas were asleep on the sofa near him. Helium Minnie and Mickey Mouse balloons were attached to their wrists and Mickey Mouse ears headbands were attached to their heads. They must have gone to the _Magic Kingdom Park._ I broke into a smile without realising it. This is going to sound super lame, but I kind of missed them in a weird way.

I was about to nudge dad to let him know but then I saw that Ste was speaking to someone; Greg, the concierge. He wasn't in uniform. Their voices were low tones as if not wanting to wake up the kids. Suddenly, Ste dropped his head and slumped his shoulders. His body seemed to jerk uncontrollably. His arms were lifeless, dangling by his side.

HE WAS CRYING.

Greg quickly closed the short distance between them, rubbed tears off Ste's cheeks then pulled him into a hug. I stared as his hands run up and down Ste's back slowly while whispering something over and over again into his ear.

I turned to dad who was still none the wiser of Ste's presence and pushed him quickly into a lift as soon as it arrived.

'.'/

Dad and I were eating our food on his bed, sitting opposite each other, cross-legged.

"Dad?" I said to him with a bite of my veggie burger still in my mouth.

"Don't speak your mouth full, kid." He mumbled as he stared at his club sandwich.

"Sorry." I swallowed quickly and then tried again. "Dad?"

"Um hum."

"We only have a day and a half left here, right? We should do the _Magic Kingdom Park_ tomorrow. Shake hands with Mickey Mouse."

"Aren't you too old for that?" He asked.

"Never!" I smiled back. I took in his flat mood. "Dad?"

"Yep,"

I hesitated for a second.

"Do you miss him?" I said. He looked at me curiously so I clarified, "Ste."

He answered by taking a big bite out of his food.

"Because I miss my girlfriend like crazy." I said quietly.

He stopped chewing. "You have a girlfriend."

I nodded. "I have been _IM_ing Freddie and Aiden and they say that she is missing me loads too."

"Freddie and who?" He asked.

"My best friends."

"Ah." He put his sandwich down and stared at me.

"You know them. They used to come home all the time."

He cocked his head to one side, thinking. "One with blond hair, tall, shy?"

"Yes, that's Aiden. Quiet not shy though." I said smiling because he remembered.

"So Freddie was a little shorter... dark hair. Loud as feck. Smart kid though. Top of the class."

I nodded.

"Tell me about your girl." He said and picked his sandwich up again.

It was like the flood gates opened. I told him everything from meeting her for the first time to drama group to when we started dating to saying goodbye before coming out to seeing him.

I showed him a picture.

"She sounds like a keeper." He said with a small smile. "Looks foxy."

"Yeah, I guess." I said, trying to be cool about it. My dad approved!

Then I turned the tables on him. "From what I have seen, Ste seems like a keeper too."

He practically choked on his sandwich and went into a full blown coughing fit. He beat his chest, took a sip of my orange juice, cleared his throat and wiped tears that sprung in his eyes. Then he stared at me.

"We are over." He said with quiet determination.

I knew to tread carefully. I couldn't say,

'_But, dad, you are kind of a mess when he is not around with your mood swings, vacant moments, binge-drinking and unnecessary jealousy. Plus, just moments ago, Ste was in floods of tears and I'll put my money on it being because of what happened between you guys.'_

"I think he misses you." I said.

"What makes you say that?"

"It was his idea to come to Disney World, wasn't it?" I replied. "Why would he invite you to come with him if he didn't want you to hang out together? It doesn't make sense."

"You don't understand, Deccy." Dad muttered, not able to look at me. "It's not... it's-"

"Complicated?" I finished his sentence. That was how Ste had described their relationship. "Why?"

"You won't get it."

"I'm smart." I said. "Try me."

He didn't say anything. Instead he stood up and threw the rest of his sandwich into the bin.

"I think you are making it more complicated than it needs to be." I said.

He grunted.

"For example, Aoife liked me and I liked her. So then, we started talking and I think she fell for me even more."

Dad smiled at my confidence.

"So she asked me out and I said yes, obviously. And everyone knows at school because we hang out all the time. Mum knows and grandma and grandpa. I'd be gutted if she left me, if I'm honest, and I reckon she'd be gutted if I left her. So we stay together."

He frowned as he realised where I was going with this.

"Aoife really likes Rom-Coms, you know, like where the guy and the girl don't get along in the beginning but then they get together in the end." I said.

He nodded numbly.

"I take her to watch them when one comes out that she wants to see even though I am not a mega-fan. It makes her happy."

I looked at him meaningfully, "Sometimes you have to do things that you aren't one hundred percent keen on for the people you care about..."

I reached into my wallet and fished out a note Aoife gave me.

"... Because they do nice things back. Like with Aoife, she sends me these notes. She gave me this one before I came."

I showed him the message.

DEAR DECCY,

I MISS YOU ALREADY. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET BACK. I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO SOUND REALLY CORNY BUT IT IS THE TRUTH**.**

**I LOVE YOU.**

**XXX **AOIFE

After slipping it into my hands she had pulled me into the most intense snog ever. I could still feel it. INTENSE.

Dad took the note from me and looked at it.

I explained, "The capitals mean she really means it and the capitals in felt tip mean she really, really, really means it."

He didn't move for a bit then he gave it back to me and began to study his shoes.

"I have a favour to ask you." He said quietly after a moment.

"What?"

"I need you to take care of Leah and Lucas..."

"Okay..." I replied a little confused.

"... While I talk with Stephen."

"Oh!" I got it. I think Dad was going to try and patch things up with him. I buried my smile. "Sure. What now?"

He grinned slightly and pointed at my veggie burger. "You can finish that thing you call a meal first if you like."

'.'/

It felt like ages before Ste opened the door to his hotel room.

He looked between dad and me with blood shot eyes.

"What do you want?" He asked tiredly.

"Can I come in?" Dad said.

"No." Ste said blocking the door and rubbed his eyes. He looked over at me briefly, "You brought your son as back up?"

"I was going to babysit Leah and Lucas for you." I whispered.

"Ste?" A familiar American accent drifted through from Ste's room.

Greg materialised a second later and stood next to him. The concierge was topless. All he wore was a pair of low slung jeans with a towel in hand.

WTF!

Ste looked at Greg's bare, toned, tanned chest then at dad then back at Greg nervously.

"Oh, it's you." Greg said to dad.

Dad didn't say a word but I could feel the tension radiating off him in waves as he looked down at a half dressed Greg.

Dad's hands were clenched into fists. He closed his eyes and then opened them slowly locking in on Ste.

"This looks cosy." He ground out quietly. "You move fast don't you, Stephen?"

Greg put a hand over his own chest. "You've got the wrong idea, sir."

"Have I?" Dad said, dripping in sarcasm. "Correct me if I'm wrong but I am pretty sure I see a half clothed hotel staff member in a hotel guest's room. Two and two equals four. This is the kind of thing that gets you sacked."

Greg looked ashen.

"Stop embarrassing yourself, Brendan." Ste said sadly.

"I would say sleeping with the nearest thing with a pulse is pretty embarrassing." Dad growled.

"I have my _kids_ with me in my room and I barely know Greg." Ste said with quiet anger. "What do you take me for?"

Dad took one look at him and for a second I saw a man that wasn't my father but a person who was seriously heartbroken by what he thought he saw.

"Why are you here, Brendan?" Ste asked in exasperation.

I silently stared at dad willing him to do that thing they did in those romantic movies Aoife liked so much; where the guy said some really cheesy monologue of how much he couldn't get the girl out of his head or a grand gesture that left her with no choice but to go back with him.

"I don't know." Dad backed up and walked towards our rooms leaving me to look at Ste and Greg awkwardly.

"I think you should go too, Dec." Ste said.

"But I think dad wanted to tell you something, like about how much he likes you, you know." I said feeling totally lame that I was speaking for my dad.

He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You are a good kid, Declan but this is not your problem. If your father has something to say then he should say it. Not that it will matter. I have heard it a thousand times before. He never changes."

I wanted to deny this but I couldn't because I knew what Ste was referring to. My dad was made a certain way.

He could not change his spots.

I felt tired and upset so I said, "Fine. I'm going to bed."

I dragged myself to my room and collapsed into my bed fully clothed.

Not five minutes later, I heard a knock on my father's room door.

There was no movement from dad so I was surprised when a moment later I heard his door click open.

"What the fuck?" I heard dad say loudly. "Get out of my room!"

"Look, I am going to go but only after you hear me out."

I sat bolt upright on hearing Greg's nervous voice in dad's room. He must have used a master key-card to gain access.

"Jesus, what kind of concierge are you? Forced entry. Getting naked in front of guests." Dad said.

"Please don't get me fired, Mr. Brady." Greg said anxiously.

"You finally found yourself a shirt." Dad said drily.

"It's Ste's." Greg said.

Dad grunted.

"Let me explain what happened."

"I don't need details."

"It's not what you think. I caught up with Ste in the lobby at the end of my shift this evening. He looked exhausted and his kids were asleep on a couch. I asked him if he needed help carrying them up to his room. Anyway, we chatted for a while and then suddenly he broke down on me."

"What?" There was an edge of concern in dad's voice.

"He was saying how he had hoped that this trip would mark the beginning of how things were going to be between you. That you would finally, and I quote, 'be a proper couple'. But instead it had turned into a nightmare because he realised that you would never change."

There was a pause then, "I hadn't even noticed that you were together."

Greg sounded genuinely surprised at the discovery.

"So anyway, I helped out by carrying his son. He peed on me in the elevator in his sleep."

Dad snorted at that.

"Ste felt really bad about it. So when we got to his room he got me out of my shirt, offered me a clean one and the use of his shower. There is nothing going on between us, Mr Brady, I swear, as much as I would love there to be. Can you blame me? He is fucking adorable and hot as hell!"

After a beat dad spoke with a bored tone, "Is there a point to this little monologue?"

"Yes. I am begging you, please don't get me fired." Greg said.

I could imagine dad's smirk.

"But I also wanted you to know that Ste really digs you. He worships the ground you walk on. I think he loves you, sir."

"You don't know what you are talking about." Dad said angrily.

"I think I do. All Ste wants is for you to be proud of him. That's all. When you hide what he is to you it is as good as telling him that he doesn't mean _enough_. Can you imagine what that does to his ego and sense of self worth? And it makes him think that his feelings for you are not reciprocated even though they are, aren't they? I can tell. It's all over your face."

The silence that followed went on for a long time. Eventually, dad said,

"If that's all."

I heard Greg sigh and head for the door. "Yeah, that's all."

'.'/

I _IM_ed Freddie from my bed under my bed covers,

_- Dude, I never want to grow up._

_- Why?_

_- Adults are so fucked up. They don't just say what they mean._

_- In what sense?_

_- Like my dad and Ste, I don't get them at all. _

_- What happened?_

_- They haven't spoken properly for most of the holiday. It sucks. The tension is unbelievable. I think I want to go back to Ireland NOW. I'm done out here._

_- Maybe they are stressed with work things._

_- No. That isn't it trust me. Anyway, I just have one more day here in Florida and then three more in Hollyoaks so the TORTURE is nearly over. Bring on Dublin!_


	6. ROMCOM

It was the day after Greg went into dad's room uninvited and our last full day in Florida.

It had been a strange holiday to be honest. I had had fun but there had been more drama than I had been prepared for.

It was clear to me that things were totally over between Stephen and dad and it killed me to admit that it was probably 99% dad's fault.

But I was done caring.

Honestly, I could not wait until I got back to what I knew; mum, Paraic, my girlfriend, friends, grandparents and Dublin. Not that I wouldn't miss dad and auntie Chez but when I was with him there were more people to miss than when I was in Dublin, if that made sense. Still I was already feeling crap about the fact that I wouldn't see him every day the way I had become used to over the last week and a half.

Today, over breakfast, dad seemed different. He was nervous; jittery and twitchy. All his ticks and quirks were out in full force; his cheek tick, moustache stroking, wild stares and random hand gestures.

There was something on his mind.

I asked him, "Everything alright?"

He nodded and downed his coffee so quickly that he scalded his tongue.

We headed out of the hotel quite early so that we could get the most out of our day. The plan was simple enough; spend the whole day at the _Magic Kingdom Park._ It was what everyone thought of when they thought of Disney World.

It was the,

'LEGENDARY PLACE WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE!'

We packed a lot in by lunchtime; the _Astro Orbiter_, the _Big Thunder Mountain Railroad_, the _Jungle Cruise_, _Pirates of the Caribbean_ and _The Haunted Mansion_.

We stopped for food at a Disney character-themed restaurant for lunch. Our waitress was a young woman with a breathy voice dressed in a princess costume. Neither dad nor I had a clue who she was supposed to be! By the end of my mac 'n' cheese and chocolate sundae I was ready for more rides.

Dad grunted when she waved us goodbye with these words and an air kiss,

'_I hope your most precious wishes all come true.'_

I know this sounds stupid but I figured, this was _Magic Kingdom_ and there was no harm, so I made a silent wish as we walked out of the restaurant.

I WISH THAT MY DAD AND MUM FIND THE HAPPINESS THEY DESERVE AND THAT PARAIC STOPS GETTING EAR INFECTIONS ALL THE TIME AND THAT I ALWAYS STAY FRIENDS WITH MY MATES AND AOIFE.

'.'/

I suggested we check out _Space Mountain._ Dad frowned, made some excuse about how he had to digest first and then told me to go ahead and that he would be waiting for me at the end of the ride.

I passed him my blackberry and personal effects when I got near the front of the line and said,

"See you in a bit then," before being ushered into my seat.

'.'/

When the ride was over I felt a little queasy. Maybe going on a thrill ride straight after eating had not been one of my better ideas.

I looked out for dad and saw him pacing a few metres away. He was facing away from me. I approached him silently, planning to scare the crap out of him but as I got closer to him I noticed that he was on the phone.

"Look, Eileen, it is not like I flew him to the moon... We are flying back tomorrow anyway... Don't worry I haven't stolen him from you. He can't wait to get back to you and Dublin..."

He was looking at my phone and pushing buttons on it while speaking to mum.

"He's tired of his old man..." He mumbled.

Had he read my messages to Freddie from yesterday? I should have been angry, instead I felt bad because I remember what I _IM_ed;

_I think I want to go back to Ireland NOW. I'm done out here._

_Just one more day here in Florida and then three more in Hollyoaks, so the TORTURE is nearly over. Bring on Dublin!_

"I thought you would be happy I got out of Hollyoaks. You wanted me to stay away from Stephen..." I heard dad say.

MUM WANTED DAD TO STAY AWAY FROM STE?

"Cheryl told you? ... Fine. Yes, he is here with his kids. But don't get worked up. He isn't part of my life anymore so you can sleep easy."

Why had mum told dad to stay away from Ste? Was it because she was jealous because she still had feelings for dad? Couldn't be, she was all loved up with Martin. Was it because she had a problem with dad being gay? Couldn't be, she loved Dan and Freddie and she knew they were an item. She never acted like that bothered her. In fact, I even heard a rumour that cousin Macca, her own nephew, was gay so how could she have a problem with it. Although, thinking about it, she didn't speak to him anymore.

WAS MUM HOMOPHOBIC?

"You want honesty? Fine. Hope you are ready for it." Dad said angrily into his phone, louder than I think he intended. I ducked behind a tree when he looked around self-consciously before dropping his voice.

He growled,

"Declan and I flew out here with Stephen. Is that what you want to hear, Eileen? Stephen wasn't some one night fling; some fuck and go drive-by-so-long-and-see-you-never! What you saw at the flat... not the first time. We have been at it for months. Couldn't stay away from him, hard as I tried. And yes, I figured it wouldn't last because let's face it, I am bad news but he kept coming back for more. And I got used to it. Having him around. Wanted it. Craved it. Him. Until it scared the shit out of me and I pushed him away. Now he has finally seen sense. He doesn't want to know. So you win. Declan is yours and Stephen is no longer mine. Give yourself a pat on the back and a medal."

He pushed a button on his phone hard and grimaced as he tucked it into his pocket.

I peeked at him from behind the tree as he roughly rubbed at his cheeks. The sun caught his face at an angle where I could appreciate the wetness on it.

MY DAD WAS CRYING! I HAD **NEVER **SEEN HIM CRY IN MY LIFE.

I walked up to him slowly and placed my hand on his shoulder making him jump a little.

"Shit, kiddo! You scared me." He said and sniffed, clearing his throat and composing himself in a nanosecond.

"Sorry." I said.

"How was the ride?"

"Brill." I said and took in his red eyes and forced smile.

How could dad think I didn't love him as much as I loved mum? I wanted to tell him that he was being stupid. But however I put it to him, it would sound super-lame. So instead I pulled him into a hug, squeezing him hard as I buried my head into his chest. I thought I might hurt him. He took a moment to hug me back ruffling my hair with one hand as he kissed my forehead.

He pushed me away gently after a while and looked curiously at me.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"Guess that ride gave me a bit of a shock." I said. My voice was thick with emotion. I felt the prickle of unshed tears in my eyes.

He flung his arm over my shoulder and gave me a squeeze. "Never too old to get a cuddle off dad, ey?"

"No." I said quietly.

'.'/

There were few events in life that felt like everything was building up to a point. Like it was fate or movie perfection. As cheesy as this was going to sound that was how the events of our afternoon at the _Magic Kingdom Park_ felt like.

Dad and I stepped out of the _Frontierland Shootin' Arcade_ and wondered around the massive park, licking away at some ice cream while we sweltered under the hot weather. Our shorts, t-shirts, plimsolls, my baseball and dad's trilby hat and our sunglasses did nothing to shade us from the intense heat.

Suddenly, dad stopped midstride. The ice cream cone in his hand was forgotten as he stared ahead.

He was looking at the _Dumbo the Flying Elephant_ ride ahead of us. It was basically a circle of Dumbo 'cars' that went up and down gently on spokes connected to a central hub. Dad was looking at one of the Dumbos as it went round and round.

Stephen, Leah and Lucas were in it looking like they were having the time of their lives. What were the odds of bumping into them when the theme park was spread over 100 acres of land and filled with hundreds of thousands of people?

Dad and I stood side by side and watched them in silence as they went round and round until the ride finally slowed to a stop.

I thought that dad would try and hide from them but he stayed put.

Leah jumped out of the elephant shaped car they were in and jumped up and down animatedly in front of Ste,

"Let's go again, daddy. Please! It's fun!"

Ste stepped out of the car with an equally overexcited Lucas in his arms and smiled. "But I thought you wanted to go to Cinderella's Castle?"

Leah's grin grew even wider, "Yeah! Let's go!"

Even from where we were her excitement was contagious.

I glanced sideways at where dad had been a second ago only to find him gone.

My eyes widened in disbelief as I saw him walk up to Ste and co. What was he planning to do?

The minute Ste spotted dad approaching his face dropped. He grabbed Leah's hand urgently and forced a smile,

"Right guys, let's get going. Off to the castle!"

His walk was so fast that he was practically dragging a gleeful Leah who only kept up because she was running.

"Stephen." Dad said after him.

I followed dad and dad followed Ste and his kids. It would have been funny had it not been so desperate.

"Stephen!" He called louder; loud enough for a few passersby to turn and look at what the commotion was all about.

DAD DIDN'T SEEM TO NOTICE THOUGH.

Ste completely blanked him but Leah didn't. She turned around, saw dad and immediately ground to a halt.

"Bwendan." She gushed and lifted her arms up to dad.

Ste's shoulders slumped in despair as he turned towards dad too.

"Hi princess." Dad reached them and picked her up into his arms to give her a quick hug before putting her down again.

"We are going to the Dewella Castle now!" She said excitedly.

"Really? That sounds like fun." Dad said giving her a smile.

Ste grabbed Leah's hand again and tensely said. "We should go."

He did not look at dad at all.

"Come with us!" Leah said. "Please, Bwendan."

Ste adjusted Lucas in his arms. "He can't, Leah. Brendan is very busy. He has loads of other things to do."

He tugged at his daughter's hand to pull her away.

"I want to come, Stephen." Dad said quickly.

Ste started walking again away from dad. So dad grabbed hold of his elbow. That surprised me but clearly not as much as it shocked my dad and Ste.

They both looked down at his vice-like grip. Lucas looked between them curiously as Ste held him in a one arm hold.

"Brendan, let go of me." Ste hissed.

"No."

"People are staring."

With that dad dropped his hand.

Ste's smile was sad. "Yeah. That seems to work every time."

Dad looked at him without saying a thing. His eyes roamed over Ste's defiant features; narrow angry eyes, flushed cheeks, set lips, squared jaw.

Dad took a step closer to him and Ste took a hesitant step away.

"What are you doing?" He whispered; his eyes were untrusting and scarred from too much pain.

Dad replied by taking another step towards Ste so that nothing separated them except for a now totally disinterested Lucas. Dad took hold of Ste's free hand and interlinked it with his. It was weird because

1) Dad had a problem with public displays of affection where Ste was concerned and

2) The way he looked at Ste reminded me of the look a leading man gave his leading woman at the end of a Rom-Com just before they went in for the kiss the audience had been waiting for.

I held my breath.

SURELY NOT... DAD WAS NEVER GOING TO DO WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GOING TO DO, WAS HE?

He leaned in and sighed softly as his gaze zeroed onto Ste's lips. I don't think Ste knew what was happening. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at Brendan with complete confusion.

A warm hand curled into mine distracting me for a second. I looked down to see Leah by my side. She was staring at her dad and mine with an expression of quiet wonder and interest.

A few people were looking at them too; curious passersby distracted by the tension between them.

That tension broke when the unthinkable happened and THE LEOPARD CHANGED HIS SPOTS.

**MY DAD KISSED STE**...

FULL ON THE LIPS...

RIGHT THERE AND THEN...

In the middle of the _Magic Kingdom Park_ in Disney World.

...

...

Next Chapter... _EPILOGUE_


	7. EPILOGUE: BITE ME JEREMY KYLE!

**_Warning- This is really mushy! I have almost surprised myself because I am not a mushy person normally. I don't know what came over me! Consider it a severe reaction to the show's writers' refusal (which is understandably canon-urgh!) to write Ste and Brendan's relationship in anything ressembling a GOOD PLACE..._**

**_(By the way, to anyone interested, I'll restart on Poker Night next weekend. Had to take a break from it when I got a bad case of writer's block... eek!)_**

**_..._**

**_PRESENT DAY_.**

"It's a big day." I say to Ste as we stand side by side, dressed smartly but not in suits.

"Yeah. A very big day." Ste says with a twinkle in his eye as he pans his sight over the living room of the Dublin home that I grew up in. The one that was once where dad, mum, Paraic and I lived in before dad left and was eventually replaced by Martin.

For the last two months, Ste and I have been video calling regularly in preparation for today. At times he has been almost childlike in his enthusiasm; like he would just about burst with glee. At other times he has been really reflective; telling stories about him and dad that I never knew. Nothing too intimate; just stuff that made me understand where they had started as a couple and what they had grown to mean to each other.

They had walked a long, long testing road.

"He won't like being reminded of it." I say and laugh lightly.

"No!" Ste laughs too.

"Everyone is here." I say.

"Yes." He says. It is not the first time Ste and his kids have visited Dublin with dad. They make it over as a group about two times a year with dad coming up more often obviously.

I spot Auntie Chez, her boyfriend, Leah, Lucas, Amy, Pete and Lynsey milling amongst others in the room. They are all people I know from Hollyoaks and Chester, where dad has lived in for the last six years. It feels weird having two worlds collide like this, England and Ireland, especially since Mum, Martin, Paraic, my mates, my girlfriend and some of dad's old friends are also here. Together they must carry so many memories of dad over the years.

I know that I do.

I am nineteen. I have all my childhood memories; the good and I guess a few bad ones.

There is one in particular that jumps to mind about dad, when we went to Disney World with Ste and his children five years ago. I can't believe how time flies. It feels like only yesterday in some ways!

That was when I first met Ste or 'your dad's patient better half' as he calls himself. That was a trip that saw a shift in dad in a good way.

Everyone noticed, even Paraic and he is not the world's most perceptive person.

Anyway, I think it was that trip that has led us to today and the declaration that dad sat ma and me down for a couple of nights ago (more on that later!).

I can't help but reflect on that trip and the moment where I, as a fourteen year old kid, with little Leah by my side watched in shock as my dad kissed Ste in the middle of the Magic Kingdom Park of Disney World...

'.'/'.'/'.'/.'.

**_FIVE YEARS AGO._**

Lucas broke off the kiss. He giggled as he pushed his pudgy little hands into their faces pulling them apart.

Ste put his son down slowly without breaking eye contact with Brendan. Lucas ran towards Leah and me and gripped my free hand.

Ste's confused face studied dad's. He licked his lips and looked around; at me and his kids and the other visitors of the theme park some of whom just walked passed and some who were loitering.

Dad reached his hand out to grab Ste's but then hesitated. I didn't know how to describe the expression on his face. There was a hint of complete fear but there was also an edge of desperation and, I guess, need. My dad looked at Ste like he was a basic requirement to life; like oxygen or food or something. Yeah, that's it. He looked at Ste as if he wouldn't be able to breathe if Ste wasn't there and like taking a bite out of him would fill him up and satisfy him ... in a non-weird, non-vampire way.

"I want to come with you. Please. Stephen." Dad said quietly, leaning in so that I could barely hear him.

Ste opened and closed his mouth several times trying to process what was happening; trying to say something but not knowing what.

I was holding my breath because this was crucial. What was Ste going to say? He could tell dad to piss off the way he had for most of our holiday and call up the incident at hotel check in or with Greg the concierge. Or he could maybe see something in dad that was sincere.

"Can we go to the Dewella castle now, daddy?" Leah asked.

Her words pierced through the look that Ste and dad shared. Ste turned to look at her, stunned and dazed.

He cleared his throat. "Um, yeah. Sure."

He brushed against dad to get past him and walked to us. His daughter shyly indicated him to get closer to her so he crouched to get to her level.

"Bwendan kissed you." She whispered into his ear while cupping her hands around her mouth before blushing and burying her face into his arm.

Ste nodded jerkily and dared a glance over at my dad who was standing on his own, looking vulnerable and exposed as he watched the four of us together.

"Yeah." He said as if he couldn't quite believe it.

She giggled and muttered something quietly before giggling again.

"Is he your boyfriend again?"

She said it so innocently it was kind of cute, if I'm honest.

Ste's face dropped.

"Um, Leah. We-" He said but was interrupted by dad who had approached us.

"Yeah. I am, princess." Dad said. "And your daddy is my boyfriend."

Leah clasped her hands over her mouth hiding a smile.

Ste looked at dad with such shock it was as if dad had just revealed that he was worth millions of Euros.

Dad said, "If he wants me to be, that is. Because sometimes I can be a bit of a bad boyfriend, Leah."

"A lot of a bad boyfriend." Ste whispered to dad and stood up straight.

"No!" She said giggling.

Dad nodded. "Yeah."

"But sometimes he ain't half bad." Ste gave dad a shadow of a smile. "Sometimes he surprises me... in a good way, like now, and then I think he is incredible."

Dad's mouth twitched and he raised a sceptical eyebrow, "Incredible?"

Ste's smile got bigger as dad's fingers pushed Ste's fringe off his forehead slowly. "Yeah."

Lucas was getting impatient. I had to grip his hand tight to make sure he didn't run off.

"Daddy! Look dog!" He said going crazy with joy as a guy in a Pluto costume walked by.

"Yes champ." Ste said patiently and then reluctantly said, "Maybe we should get going, ey kids? See the castle?"

"Yeah!" His children chorused as their father collected them around him.

"You can come along if you want." He told me and dad after a moment then cleared his throat. "I mean, I would like it if you did."

'.'/

Dad and Ste spoke quietly to each other throughout the rest of the day. We visited the Castle then went on the Liberty Square Riverboat. Their heads remained close with whispers shared. I couldn't make out everything they said but I got the impression that the bits of chat were about four main things.

EXPLANATION. -"Why now after all this time, here in Disney World?" -"Because I wanted to. Because I craved you and I grew tired of fighting against myself. It's exhausting. But it has protected me. Keeping you at arm's length. Denying you. At least I thought it did."

NEGOTIATION. -"I can't go back to how we were, Brendan. For me. For my kids. I am out the door if that happens. The next time it's final." -"And I know that. That is why I won't fuck it up. I don't want to hurt you ever again."

COMMITMENT SETTING. -"It won't be overnight, Stephen, but I'll get there. I want to change. I want this. Us." Dad threaded his fingers through Ste's. "All of it. I'll show you. Every day for as long as it takes." And Ste said, "You can't get angry at well meaning people just because they say the truth about you and who we are." –"No. I know I can't. I won't." -"Then yeah, I want us to make it work, Bren."

DECLARATIONS. I heard Stephen say, "I missed you so much. It kills me... not being with you."

Finally, after Leah and Lucas had had Pirate makeovers we all stood in a row on Main Street in a thick crowd of eager visitors watching the_ Dream Come True Parade_.

Over the beat of the drum, loud music and cheer of the crowd, I saw dad lean in and kiss Ste lightly on his temple and then his cheek before saying clearly but quietly into his ear,

"I love you, Stephen."

'.'/

That evening we shuffled rooms. I don't think it was ever a conversation. It just kind of happened because it made sense. I moved into Ste and his kids' room, Leah and Lucas moved into my room and Ste moved in with dad.

It was cool that they were together but I knew that I wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing that dad was probably going to find use for the stuff I found in his travel bag. I didn't want to get post traumatic stress disorder or something listening to them carrying on next door! While I knew that Leah and Lucas would sleep through the night as long as washing machine music played in the background.

When dad, Ste and I said our goodnights just outside their door Ste had an arm loosely wrapped around dad's waist. They wouldn't look me straight in the eye. It was like they knew that I knew that they were about to get up to no good! (Shudder)

"Right, I guess it is time to sleep." Ste said to my chest then blushed.

"Yeah, I guess." I smirked.

"Make sure you are ready to leave for the airport by nine o'clock, young man." Dad said speaking to my shoulder and then cleared his throat.

"Oh, I'll be ready." I said and then grinned cheekily. "Just make sure you two are. Don't stay up too late!"

I raised my eyebrows meaningfully then turned on my heal heading to my room.

"Cheeky fecker!" I heard my dad mumble behind me.

'.'/'.'/'.'/'.'

_**PRESENT DAY.**_

Yeah. The dad I knew before Disney World was a very different person to the man he has become.

Don't get me wrong, Brendan Brady will always have a way with words, endearing and debasing in the same breath. He will always be a bit of a slick Rick; posturing like the big 'I AM', shrewd and ruthless at times. He will never be the first to volunteer an emotional truth about himself.

But he has left that uncommunicative, closed off, undemonstrative yet aggressive man behind over the years. It has been like the gradual shedding of an ugly skin.

"We should take our places soon." Ste says to me as we stand in the busy living room.

"Yeah." I reply. "Has Martin called you yet?"

He glances at me. "No. You?"

"No." I say.

He nods. "Cool. I'm going to check on Eileen."

"Sure. I'll see what your kids are up to." I say.

"Thanks." He smiles before heading to the kitchen to join ma.

Ma and Ste have grown strangely and unexpectedly close over the years. I learnt, not long after Disney World, contrary to what I thought, that ma didn't have a personal problem with Ste.

She had formed the impression that he was a one night stand of dad's; something about catching them in the act in the living room of the flat dad used to share with Aunt Chez before Ste, the kids and him moved into their house in Chester. Ma had freaked out that dad was some sort of 'bed-hopping homosexual' (Her words! Political correctness is not ma's forte but she means well...). She was worried that she was leaving me in a, and I quote, 'den of iniquity' (which, btw, means a place of immoral behaviour usually of the sexual type- mum uses a lot of biblical references).

Anyway, once things were cleared up and mum realised that Ste and dad were the real deal they got on like a house on fire.

I know that dad would get uneasy whenever they got together whether in Hollyoaks, Dublin or our yearly family holidays abroad.

"What do you reckon they're rabbiting on about?" He would say anxiously to me, Paraic and Ste's kids, craning his head towards ma and Ste while they hugged mugs of tea and leaned into each other conspiratorially whispering and laughing, away from the rest of us.

"Probably comparing notes about you." I would say with a cheeky smile just to rile him up.

That would get him every time because he would stand up suddenly march over to them and lay a possessive hand on Ste's shoulder and say,

"You two having fun?"

Mum and Ste would look at each other and then nod at him innocently.

"Care to share?" Dad would say.

"Nah, it's alright babes." Ste would reply. "Can we help you?"

"Um, yeah." Dad would say and think on his feet. "I was, uh, thinking about doing a BBQ for supper. Wondered if you'd give me a hand at the shops."

Ste would smile knowingly. "Dec can go with you."

Dad would squirm and look at me. "He doesn't eat meat."

"Even more reason to go so he can make sure you buy something veggie."

"Yeah. I guess. Fine. See yis." Dad would say before sulking off and having to make a meal he promised on a whim.

I digress.

Ste goes to see if ma is okay in the kitchen and I go to find Ste's kids who are probably in the reception room watching telly. On my way, I get intercepted by Aunt Chez,

"Come here you!" She says and pulls me into a hug that is followed by an attack of kisses.

"Auntie!" I whine embarrassed.

She starts rubbing my cheeks, cleaning up her lipstick marks while her eyes glow with pride, "I am so proud of you, Dr. Brady!"

"I'm going to be a vet in another four year's time." I say blushing. "It's no biggie."

"No biggie!" She says in shock, "Modest, handsome, strong, smart! And soon, rich! Your girl is one lucky lady!"

I roll my eyes at her ego stroking. "Vet's don't make shed loads of money."

Paraic struts up to us with his posse of friends. Being in the final year of junior school, and after turning eleven a few months back, he is as close at it comes to being a king among men in his universe. He is a dead confident kid (more so than I was at his age) and a demon on the football field. In some ways, he has inherited all of dad's personality and swagger while I have taken on the physique and features.

"Did you hear that our Dec is a right swat, auntie, and came second in his first year exams of 'Animal healing'?" He declares.

"Vet school, twerp." I say with a grin. "And yeah, mum told her already and everyone else here. I think she is planning to hire one of those planes that you can attach messages to, to spread the word faster." I say in exasperation.

Ma has literally become one of those parents that brags about her kids' achievements to anyone whether they give a s**t or not.

"Yeah totally!" Paraic grins. "So, like, are we about to do this thing or do my mates and I have time to have a kick about?"

I look at my watch then around. Everyone is here and surely it is about time.

"I would stay. You don't want to miss this." I warn.

"No. Definitely not. Dad is going to freak out!" Paraic says and bites the knuckles of his closed fist in anticipation.

"I know!" Chez and I say excitedly at the same time.

Amy and Pete come up to us. She is the mother of Leah and Lucas and Ste's ex-girlfriend (!). It is crazy how much Leah looks like her. She is sweet; like mother like daughter.

Interesting story coming up-

Pete is an old friend of dad's from childhood who got involved in a car accident with dad at about my age apparently. It put him into a wheelchair, not that you would notice. I mean, it doesn't stop him really. You kind of forget it's there after a while.

Anyway, dad and him reunited after Pete took up the post of head teacher at Hollyoaks's local comp. He met Amy there when she was working as a teacher's assistant. That was before Ste and her went into business and opened up their café in Chester three years back. It is called _Café __Hay_ and serves the most incredible cold and hot veggie food made mainly by Ste. Ste asked for my opinion before he put any of the veggie dishes on the menu which was pretty cool.

Where was I? Yes. Pete. He and Amy fell in love and now they are married and Amy is pregnant with their first child.

I fist pump Pete and kiss Amy's cheeks before glancing at her belly. "How are you doing?"

"Okay. I guess." She huffs with a tired smile and rubs her swollen tummy. She looks in pain. "I'm pretty much done with being pregnant now! It's too hot for it! I wish she would just come already."

Pete smiles sympathetically and rubs her lower back slowly. "Ames is a week overdue." He explains.

"Oh." I don't know what else to say.

"You know what they say works to bring on contractions." Chez says with a sly grin.

"No?" Paraic looks curious.

"A special hug." Chez says and raises one eyebrow meaningfully at Amy. "If you know what I mean."

"You mean sex?" One of Pariac's friends says. Bold little eejit!

Amy winces a little and holds her tummy. "Um. I think we are good."

I change subject and say, "Have you seen Leah or Lucas? I was just going to check on them."

"They are watching cartoons next door, why?" Amy says.

"No reason."

We look at each other, Amy and I, and can't help but break out into a conspiratorial grin. "Is Bren on his way?" She asks.

"I guess so. He is taking his time, though." I say starting to get anxious.

My brother suddenly says. "I'm going to see Leah. And Lucas. Both of them!"

He blushes as he glances over at his mates. Then he squares his shoulders and acts all macho. He is a moustache stroke away from the way dad used to be when I asked him anything about Ste.

"Okay..." I say with a knowing smile. I think my kid brother has a bit of a crush on little Miss Barnes.

Yeah her surname is Amy's. I didn't know that Ste wasn't Leah's biological dad until one of our holidays where dad asked me to hold all the passports. Declan Brady. Paraic Brady. Brendan Brady. Stephen Hay. Eileen McCallister. Martin McCAllister. Amy Hamill (nee Barnes). Peter Hamill. Leah Barnes. Lucas Hay.

Ste adopted her legally which is kind of cool I think.

"Does dad really not know what you and Ste have been planning? He knows everything!" Paraic says quickly.

"No. Trust me." Pete says smiling. "Ste and Dec have handled this like some top secret mission."

I look at my watch and frown. "Yeah. Martin should ring me at any minute."

"Shit." Paraic says quietly.

"Paraic!" Auntie admonishes angrily.

My brother points over my shoulder to a space behind me.

"Looks like all those weeks of planning were for nothing." He says.

I turn around to see that the door is open and dad is standing there holding the door open with one hand and a bag of groceries in the other with a look of total confusion on his face.

"What the hell!" He says as he takes in the guests, music, food and banners.

Okay. Pause.

For this to make sense I need to go back to this morning which in some ways was just like a regular lazy Saturday... at least at face value...

'.'/

It is the second Saturday of Dad, Ste and Co. stay here in Dublin. We have had breakfast and are hanging out at home doing not very much with no set plans... apparently (!). Paraic, Leah and Lucas are playing together. Ste and Mum are out in the garden talking as they usually do. Dad and Martin are trying to make conversation while watching footie on the telly. I am in my room playing video games.

When the clock strikes eleven, however, the plan that Ste and I have meticulously put together over the last two months begins.

11.00 I make phone calls telling all pre-alerted guests that they should be at the house between 13.30 and 14.00. No sooner. No later.

11.15 Mum calls the neighbours and tells them to bring the food they are holding for us over to our place at 13.00 on the dot. Ste calls the bakery with a similar instruction.

11.16 My girlfriend arrives and we go up to my room to hang out and stuff...

11.50 I go downstairs and ask dad if he could nip to the shops to get me some ingredients for a lunch I want to make using one of Ste's recipes.

'Tell him they are very specialist but essential ingredients, Dec. Here is a list.' Ste said to me when we were planning this. 'Trust me; it will take him at least an hour to come back with the right stuff!'

'Why can't you get them yourself?' Dad asks me with a frown.

'I've got me girl with me, haven't I?' I reply as if that makes sense.

Martin, as previously prepped, insists on going with dad saying something about 'men providing' for their families. Dad literally rolls his eyes in despair. I wink at Martin when dad isn't looking. Mum's husband knows he should call either me or Ste when dad and he are about five minutes away from the house so that we can all assume our positions.

12.00-12.30 Ste, my girlfriend and I arrange the living and dining rooms and get crockery and cutlery out. Mum, Paraic and Leah put up decorations. Lucas watches a cartoon.

12.30-13.00 We all get ready in a mad rush and get changed into smarter clothes.

13.00 Our neighbour and the bakery deliver the food. Ste and I set it on a large table while mum and my girlfriend prepare a bowl of alcoholic and virgin punch each.

13.10 Mum puts on some music and turns the volume up. She opens a bottle of white wine and pours a glass for me, my girlfriend, Ste and her. We grin as we clink our glasses together and take a sip.

'I think we are ready.' She says looking around.

'Yeah.' Ste agrees.

'Good job.' She lays a kiss on each of our cheeks before grabbing Ste's hand and pulling him onto our makeshift dance area. They shimmy around together for a bit so I coax Leah into a twirl until I notice that Paraic is giving me evils. I suggest he dances with her while I grab hold of my girlfriend. My brother and Leah both blush and are saved by the bell because,

13.15 My friends are at the door. We go berserk with big hugs and pats on the back. These are my friends for life.

I see Aiden (studying classics) the most since he goes to University College Dublin, too. Freddie (law and business studies) and Siobhan (English literature) go to Trinity. We still see each other a fair amount but nowhere near as much as before even though we are in the same city.

Freddie is still with Dan who studies civil engineering (snore!) at Queen's University Belfast less than two hours drive away. The fact that they are still together after a staggering six years surprises some (Aiden!) since people thought the distance and Freddie's 'spontaneity and impulsiveness' would be too much to overcome. But they make an effort to see each other on most weekends and Freddie says 'the mind-blowing long-distance-relationship sex makes it worth it, guys!' Trust him to bring it down to that common denominator but I know he is being flippant. Those guys love each other to bits. Full stop.

Aiden is going out with Siobhan which shouldn't have been a surprise but somehow it was. It happened so gradually. One day, after we had all gone to a concert to celebrate graduating from school we saw them being suspiciously close. Dan said, 'Hang on, are you guys boning or something?'

Aoife is the only one of us who went over to England for her studies. She and Siobhan graduated from school a year before us obviously. She is about to start her third and final year at Bristol doing History of Art.

'How have you been?' She asks me hesitantly when I finally speak to her. They are the first words I have heard from her in nearly two years.

'Yeah, fine.' I reply. 'You?'

'Yeah, good.' And she leans in to give me a kiss on each cheek.

**AOIFE IS NO LONGER MY GIRLFRIEND. **She dumped me before going to Uni so that 'I can experience it to the full and you can concentrate on your final year of school instead of travelling over to see me all the time', she said.

It killed me. I won't lie. For the first two months of my final year in school I was a mess but Freddie, Aiden, Dan and Siobhan helped me get back on track. I could not have asked for better friends.

I invited Aoife today because I am trying to make amends and be the bigger person. Maybe today is going to be the beginning of our new friendship.

13.18 I introduce Aoife to my girlfriend, Kyla. Not as awkward as I thought it would be.

13.20 Amy and Pete arrive.

13.30-14.00 Everyone else arrives; family like Aunt Chez, her boyfriend and grandma and granddad and more of dad's old friends.

14.01 Ste tells everyone what to do when the time comes.

14.05. Ste and I convene.

'It's a big day.' I say.

'Yeah. A very big day.' He says.

'He won't like being reminded of it.'

'No!'

14.07-14.18 I get intercepted by Auntie Chez who wants to congratulate me on ranking second in my first year Vet school exams. Then Paraic and his posse join us. Then Amy and Pete join us. Then I wonder where the hell dad and Martin are...

14.19 Dad walks into the house unexpectedly to be faced by an unprepared and not forewarned crowd of family and friends.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"Surprise!" Paraic shouts happily.

Dad looks confused.

Mum and Ste rush into the dining room from the kitchen. Ste runs over to dad in distress and shoves him back towards the door,

"No! It's not meant to be like this!"

"Like what?" Dad asks frowning.

"Where is Martin?" Mum asks angrily.

Martin slips into the room sheepishly and says to me, "Sorry, I forgot my phone here so couldn't warn you."

He shrugs his shoulders.

Ste ignores him as he practically throws dad out of the house again and slams the door in his face.

He speaks across the closed door. "Give us a sec, babe."

"Did I just see Peter and Amy there?" Dad says from the other side. "And Chez?"

"No!" Ste squeaks and frantically gestures for all of us to duck and hide while he leans heavily on the door.

"Stephen. What is this carry on all about?" Dad says impatiently as he tries the door handle. "That Declan! Martin had to take me to a Korean store on the other side of town to get half this stuff!"

Some of the guests giggle.

Ste runs away from the door and dives behind a chair just as dad barrels in for a second time. Only this time I am sure that all he can see is the odd foot poking out from furniture.

I whisper, "One, two, three..."

Then everyone leaps out and screams, "SURPRISE!"

Paraic and his lot let off some party poppers and the streamers climb the air before landing on dad's head.

"What?" He says, standing rigid and holding a bag full of useless ingredients. He pulls at the the bits of coloured string hanging off him as Ste walks up to him. "Can someone tell me what's going on?"

"Happy fortieth birthday, baby." Ste says and gets onto the tips of his toes to plant a big one on dad's parted shocked lips while placing his hands loosely on dad's waist.

"Birthday?" Dad says as he holds Ste in his arms automatically as he checks out who is here. His jaw drops further.

"Is this a surprise birthday?" He whispers looking back at Ste. He smiles slightly when Ste nods. "Jesus! How did you do this?"

"With Dec's help." He replies. "You aren't pissed off?"

Dad shakes his head slowly, stunned. "I don't know. I haven't decided yet."

"Jesus, Paddy is here!" He points at an old friend of his that Pete managed to track down.

"Yeah." Paddy says. "Mate, I'm not going to lie, things have changed since I last saw you, ey?" He looks at Ste so I am guessing he means the fact that dad is with Ste. "It's good to see you though."

"Yeah." Dad says as he begins to look more relaxed. "Yeah. Same."

He looks at the banners that say things like _'Happy Fortieth Birthday, Dad'_ and _'Forty is the new Thirty!'_ and _'Life begins at Forty'_.

"Shit. Advertise it why don't you, Stephen!" He says with a dry smile. "I was going to pretend I was thirty for at least another five years."

Eileen scoffs. "Don't worry Bren. Doesn't the saying go 'you are as young as the person you feel'?"

There is a twitter of laughter and Auntie Chez says, "Well if that's the case then you are a very youthful twenty-five, Bren!"

Dad scowls at her but pulls Ste in closer to him. I hear him whisper, "Fuck me! I'm forty!"

"You're still looking sexy, don't worry." Ste murmurs back patting dad's stomach.

"So are we going to get this party started or what?" I say as I pick up a champagne magnum and begin to untwist the cap.

Dad looks at me sternly as he points to the bag of shopping at his feet, "We need to have words, little man. What the hell is a _Rambutan_?"

I grin at him and wink. The cap pops at hits the ceiling causing the guests to go, "Ooooh!" and cheer.

I say, "The hell should I know, dad! Ask your boyfriend. It was his shopping list!"

Dad turns his gaze to Stephen who looks back innocently for a second. "It was for a good cause."

He smiles sweetly but dad does not look happy.

"You made me hang out with Martin... alone... for nearly two solid hours." He whispers into Ste's ear. I think the only reason I can hear him is because I am so close.

Ste slowly uncurls himself from dad's grip and runs off in the direction of the garden.

"Sorry!" He shouts over his shoulder as dad begins his pursuit.

"Come back here!" Dad shouts after him with a smile on his face.

"No chance! You can't catch me anyway, old man!"

"That's it!" Dad laughs and comes back to me to grab the champagne bottle from my hands before chasing after Ste again.

All the guests migrate towards the double doors that lead to the garden and filter outside to watch dad run after Ste on the green equipped with a large bottle of expensive booze.

"I swear they are such kids." Paraic says shaking his head sadly.

"Yeah, I know, right?" Leah replies.

"All I'm saying is that when your dad tips that champers over Ste it'll be a waste of some perfectly good booze." Freddie smiles. "But if he needs a hand licking it off his hot boyfriend, I'm in!"

"Jesus, Freddie!" Siobhan says and Dan whacks him on his arm. Aiden and I laugh. I don't think Freddie will ever change.

"Are they always like that?" Kyla asks me when Ste shrieks because dad has managed to reach him and shower him with a fountain of bubbly.

"No. But I guess they get along really well most of the time." I pull her into me and give her neck a quick kiss.

The guests are now cheering them on. Ste is half drenched but he grabs hold of the bottle and tries to prise it out of dad's hands pouring some over him in the process.

"Oh no!" I hear Amy say by my side.

I look over at her and she is standing stock still looking down.

I look at the wet decking between her feet.

"I think my water's have gone!" She says in shock.

Pete's face goes white. "What, really? Are you sure?"

"Uh yeah! I haven't wet myself, sweetie!"

"No! Sure, wow!" Pete randomly moves his wheelchair backwards and forwards. "What do we do now?"

Amy grips her stomach. "Oh my God!"

Lynsey runs up her and touches her belly. "She is having a contraction. Let's get her to the hospital."

She looks at Amy whose eyes are closed as she tries to breathe through the pain. "Is that your first one?"

Amy shakes her head. "I didn't want to spoil the party." She whispers while doubled over.

Paraic shouts at dad and Ste who are still wrestling at the other end of the garden and oblivious to the drama, "Hey! Amy is about to have a baby! Thought you might want to know!"

I sharply nudge him across the elbow for his lack of tact.

They immediately stop their horsing around and run to us.

Ste is immediately by Amy's side as she has another contraction. "How often are you getting them?"

"Every three minutes, I think." She groans as sweat breaks out on her forehead and she grips Ste with one hand and her husband with the other. "Ste, I can't have this baby in someone else's home!"

"Do you feel like pushing?" He asks.

Amy shakes her head so Ste turns to dad.

"Get the car. You and Ames go ahead to the hospital." Ste says calmly. "Pete and I will be right behind you."

"Is she going to be okay?" Pete asks in a blind panic.

Ste nods and says. "She'll be fine, mate."

I am amazed at how composed he is until I hear mum whisper to Martin,

"Ste delivered Lucas at home."

Are you kidding me?

Within minutes the party grinds to an end before it even really started. The birthday boy goes off to the hospital with his boyfriend's ex-girlfriend who is about to have his best friend's baby on his birthday.

It is like something off the Jeremy Kyle show only with more love and less bad fashion!

Surreal!

'.'/

Our family hovers in the waiting area of the maternity unit of St Vincent's University Hospital expectantly.

Every time the doors of the labour ward open we think it is going to be Pete with news.

After three anxious hours where we occasionally snack on party food brought over by aunt Chez and her boyfriend, Pete comes out with a ridiculously large smile on his face.

He wheels himself up to us and simply says,

"She is perfect." He breaks down in tears. "They are perfect!"

Dad and Ste give him a three way hug and whisper their congratulations before telling him to get back in there to enjoy time with his wife and new baby.

Dad and Ste then sit back down with a joint visible sigh of relief. One of dad's arms rests over the back of Ste's chair and Ste's head leans on dad's shoulder. They are still wearing their alcohol soaked clothes but I don't think they care or notice.

They have a knack of doing this; cocooning themselves as if they are alone even when the world bustles around them.

Dad nudges his shoulder up slightly and whispers, "You okay?"

Ste nods, "Yeah. I'm just glad she is okay, you know?"

Brendan grunts his agreement before shifting to kiss Ste on top of his head.

"Thank you." He says. "This has been ... memorable."

Ste frowns. "Didn't go the way I wanted. It was supposed to be amazing and the cake is still out in the living room and probably melting if Paraic, Leah and their friends haven't already demolished it."

"Eileen and Martin are with them." Dad reminds him.

"Yeah but-"

Dad moves so that he can look Ste straight in the eye.

"Shush." He places a finger on Ste's mouth and then replaces it with his lips.

I smile, not because of the kiss although even I'll admit that it is kind of sweet. It is because I recognise how dad looks at Ste.

You see, things are never all they seem when it comes to Ste and dad.

On face value the surprise was dad's birthday party and it was in a way. Then the surprise became Amy having her first child with Pete.

But the truth is none of these are as big a surprise as what is going to happen sometime this week and maybe sooner than I think.

I'll let you know what happened two days ago to explain. It is the real reason why mum, Amy and I have been walking around with anxious expectation and why dad has been all over the shop emotionally...

'.'/

Two nights ago, Dad sat mum and me down after supper looking all nervous and stressed.

"Look, I told Amy already and I think you ought to know as well." He said as his knee jerked uncontrollably and he smoothed his moustache down and his back was rod-straight. "I am just going to say it and I am not asking. I am telling you. I am doing it this week."

Then he said nothing for a while.

"Yes?" Mum prompted.

He looked us both in the eye and said after taking a deep breath in,

"**I AM GOING TO ASK STEPHEN TO MARRY ME."**

**...**

**...**

When he said the it was like writing in** CAPITAL LETTERS WITH FELT TIP!**

**...**

**'.'/ THE END \'.'**


End file.
